Saturday, November 15, 2014
Thursday, October 16, 2014
Monday, October 13, 2014
- My intention that I'm setting right now is to become more fully comfortable with myself.
- My new and different choice will be to read from this book every day, and apply something in it.
- And I will prove I did something by reporting that I did, on here.
- I will set my intention to put patients first.
- My different choice will be to use positive language - "I GET to see several patients today" instead of "I better see several patients today."
- I will go do several sessions. As many as time will allow.
- If I don't become comfortable with myself, I will never succeed as a therapist.
- I also need to believe that the music therapy sessions I'm providing are extremely valuable, or at least of worth, to the well-being of my patients. I can't succeed without that either.
- Praying for healing
- Praying with the purpose of developing a relationship with God, who loves me
- Praying specifically for Him to remind me of His love
- Prayerfully guided scripture study
- Exercise and good diet and sleep
- The 10 guideposts in "The Gifts of Imperfection" by Brene Brown. I started working on it earlier this year (it helped!), and I think its time to pick it up or start it over.
Owning our story can be hard but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it. Embracing our vulnerabilities is risky but not nearly as dangerous as giving up on love and belonging and joy -- the experiences that make us the most vulnerable. Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light.
Sunday, October 12, 2014
Friday, September 5, 2014
they do not define the real you."
Thursday, September 4, 2014
Monday, September 1, 2014
Saturday, August 9, 2014
Thursday, July 10, 2014
To sit in the synagogue and pray.
And maybe have a seat by the Eastern wall.
And I'd discuss the holy books with the learned men, several hours every day.
That would be the sweetest thing of all."
Wednesday, July 9, 2014
Monday, July 7, 2014
Thursday, June 19, 2014
I feel like sometimes guys "friend-zone" themselves by never making their intentions clear.
I'm all about friendship though, and feel like its essential for a true long-term relationship. But if a guy never asks that friend on a date, or never makes his intentions clear, of course he'll be in the "friend-zone" forever.
It's confusing for me when someone continues to spend time with me, but never asks me on a date. He's either shy/afraid of commitment, or he's not interested in dating me. And if I hear that he's going on dates regularly with various people, but still hasn't asked me, I'm probably going to assume he's not interested in dating me. No matter how many nice things he says.
So what options are there at that point? Either stop hanging out (which is sometimes warranted but sometimes not), or continue to spend time with each other thinking of him as only a friend. There's the friend zone.
(Of course this does not apply to every friend zone situation. But I think its something to think about.)
Thursday, June 5, 2014
Saturday, May 24, 2014
Friday, May 23, 2014
Wednesday, May 21, 2014
"A journal is the literature of superiority. Each individual can become superior in his own humble life. What could you do better for your children and your children's children than to record the story of your life, your triumphs over the adversity, your recovery from a fall, your progress when all seemed black, your rejoicing when you had finally achieved?
Some of what you write may be humdrum dates and places, but there will also be rich passages that will be quoted by your posterity."
Source: Spencer W. Kimball, "The Angels May Quote from it." New Era, Oct 1975
Tuesday, May 20, 2014
Monday, May 19, 2014
Saturday, May 17, 2014
Friday, May 16, 2014
Friday, May 2, 2014
Thursday, May 1, 2014
Monday, April 28, 2014
Thursday, April 17, 2014
Monday, April 14, 2014
Monday, April 7, 2014
Thursday, April 3, 2014
Wednesday, April 2, 2014
Monday, March 31, 2014
Thursday, March 27, 2014
Sunday, March 16, 2014
Monday, March 10, 2014
Friday, March 7, 2014
And [God] said, Take now thy son, thine only son Isaac, whom thou lovest, and get thee into the land of Moriah; and offer him there for a burnt offering upon one of the mountains which I will tell thee of.In order to be refined, we have to be perfectly willing to give up everything we care about the most, in faith that somehow God will still keep His promises, and that either in this life or the next, everything will turn out better than we imagined.
It's one thing to casually acknowledge it, and another thing to go through it.
For me, part of it has been being single when nearly all of my friends are married with children. I've always wanted a loving relationship so much, but I think one of the reasons I am still single is that God needed me to learn to turn to Him for comfort and help with my problems, instead of trying to find another person to make me whole.
I'm happy to say that recently, I've really started to feel whole. I've found comfort in God, and I don't have that desperate lonely feeling anymore (or at least not nearly as often). I know that God has plenty of work for me to do to help me grow and to help me serve others. I feel like I have work to do in the building the kingdom, and I feel no need to worry about the fact that I am single. I trust my Heavenly Father that everything will turn out right, and I'll just simply trust in His timing and focus on the things He's asked me to do at this point in life. It is a fantastic feeling, starting to feel whole.
After I've learned this lesson sufficiently, I'm sure I'll be called upon to sacrifice something else. But with each trial my faith and confidence in Him will grow, and I'll be able to meet every challenge that comes and every sacrifice that is asked of me.
Faith is such a good feeling. =)
Thursday, March 6, 2014
Fortunately for me, some of my favorite people of last year were major sushi fans as well. I had sushi for my birthday with Steffen, I introduced Sarah to sushi for the first time (of many times thereafer), and when I moved away from Logan, Sarah and Steffen and I ate tons of sushi.
Unfortunately, sushi is a little expensive, and not everyone else likes it. But let it be known that I do.
Wednesday, March 5, 2014
I believe that reforms should be made so it is much easier for immigrants to come to the United States to live and work.
I do not believe that crossing the border is a crime in and of itself that deserves the punishment of deportment. I believe that immigrants who commit felonies or serious crimes should be the only ones to be deported.
I do believe that the process to become a citizen should take some effort and time, but not money, and not a ridiculously long amount of time. The right to vote would be granted to those willing to put in the extra effort of becoming a citizen.
I see all these immigrants as people, and believe they should be allowed to seek the opportunity to provide for their families and have a better life than they may have been having in their home countries. And I believe their presence blesses our country, not damages it (with the exception of those who commit serious crimes, and the non-criminals far outnumber the criminals).
I know I haven't addressed everything about the subject, but these are my current opinions on the matter.
That feels good. =)
Somewhere I want to write down my opinions so I don't change them all when I start dating someone. I need to be honest with myself. So I can then be honest with others. Opinions can change, but only for valid reasons. If I later change opinions, ask myself why I did, honestly.Then I thought
Hey! I have a blog! And not very many people read it, so its a perfect place to teach myself to be honest with my opinions.If I go viral, I'm in trouble. But I really don't think that'll happen.
So, I plan to post some short opinions with the label "Honest Opinions" and challenge myself to think about and commit to an opinion enough to say/type it out loud.
My goal is not to persuade, only to express. And mostly for my own sake.
You can comment if you disagree. It'll give me an option to stand strong for my opinion. =)
Monday, March 3, 2014
Friday, February 14, 2014
I know the Savior CAN heal me... but I realized recently that I haven't wanted Him to. Because then who would I be? What would be left of me? What claim would I have to people's kindness? I imagine myself feeling naked and alone.
Which brings me to a realization I just barely had as I was writing this! So, Brene talks about perfectionism being a shield that protects us from being seen. And that's true, I've lived that. But I think I'm also using my pain and challenges in a similar way. I hide behind it. The fact that I would feel naked (vulnerable) without it helped me realize that.
My fear is that no one would pay attention to an emotionally stable me. Because I wouldn't need them. And I would be boring. (I'm not saying I am boring, but that is my extreme fear.) Wow... I currently don't actually believe that anyone would like me for me, and care about me, unless I had some problems for them to "fix" or some need that could pull compassion from them. (Maybe part of this comes from being in a large family where you mostly just get attention when you have a problem. Or from my therapy education background of everyone having big problems.)
The sad thing is, that might mean that's how I see others. I care about those with the biggest problems, because of their problems. Because then I feel needed.
I've got some work to do.
This blog post took an unexpected turn... Anyway, I will still post the quote I intended to from the beginning. It still applies. =) Basically, I've been thinking about this concept a lot, and how healing and sanctification are only the beginning of a beautiful future. I've been so afraid to be healed or give my heart to God, because I see it as the end of something. But, it truly is a beginning.
This quote is from President Osguthorpe's amazing CES Devotional in November, spoken by one of the young adults in a video segment.
"Giving your heart and your will to God … the first thing He does with it is He sanctifies it. It’s not like we’re all just giving our hearts to God and He just puts them in a big vault and says, 'Yes, one more heart for me to enjoy.' He takes it and sanctifies it and proves it and gives it back to us and says, “Now go use this and do great things.” I just never really thought about what happened after you gave it to Him. I thought that was kind of the end, but that’s just the beginning."What things are ahead? What might I have to look forward to after becoming more emotionally whole? Any thoughts or comments, especially from those who have gone through something similar?
Thursday, February 13, 2014
Monday, February 10, 2014
Sunday, February 9, 2014
Church today was fantastic. We talked about balance and some "temporal" things to work on. And we also talked about self-compassion. I felt the Spirit more powerfully and peacefully and cheerfully than I've felt it at church in while. I made some plans to change, and actually most of them have to do with health. Its also my NY Resolution for this month. So I hope I can report some fabulous changes by the end of the month. I hope I can report a consistent new habit of exercising and eating healthy. I started the ball rolling today on a way to change some of my food habits. And I will be going to bed REALLY SOON so I can run on the treadmill at 6:00 tomorrow morning.
Today was my first day playing the organ in the ward here. It went alright. Nowhere near perfect, but I was doing my best. During the middle of the meeting, I was asked to play a surprise intermediate hymn ("You Can Make the Pathway Bright"). I had not practiced it... and it was pretty obvious... but everyone was extremely kind about it and I got complimented by a few people on my willingness to go for it even though I wasn't prepared.
I just felt happier and friendlier today than I have in a while on Sundays. It was a really nice feeling.
In the Wholehearted class, we will be focusing on Resilience. Expect to hear more from me about that.
And without further ado, I will be on my way to bed.
Saturday, February 8, 2014
I also want to continue sharing about my Wholehearted Living class, and start sharing more. I've become nervous for some reason. But luckily for me, hardly anyone I actually know reads my blog. And if I post a link to Facebook, it can just be to my "Close Friends" list. So yeah.
I am excited to start sharing more. And scared too. But I'll try to be purposeful about what I share. I really want to grow in authenticity. That's one of my main reasons. I hope this helps me feel more centered and stable.
First thing I want to do is add another page summarizing the year, and talk about why my 2013 was a year of courage. I did something similar for 2011 and 2012, and plan to continue that tradition. =)
Monday, February 3, 2014
Tuesday, January 14, 2014
In September 2008 he gave the address "Happiness, Your Heritage" from which I'll be sharing some quotes.
First, he talks about how happiness is what we all yearn for. And what happiness is the greatest kind possible? God's happiness. So what is God's happiness? What makes Him happy? We probably can't understand everything that makes him happy, but we do know what His work and His glory is: to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man.
"Heavenly Father is able to accomplish these two great goals—the immortality and eternal life of man—because He is a God of creation and compassion. Creating and being compassionate are two objectives that contribute to our Heavenly Father’s perfect happiness. Creating and being compassionate are two activities that we as His spirit children can and should emulate."He then goes on to talk about both being creative and being compassionate. Both of which are focuses of Brene's work. The intention for the first week of her class is "Courage, Compassion, and Connection will be my constant companions." It's an art-journaling class, because creativity is needed to help open us up so we can practice vulnerability.
Here is a long excerpt from when he talks about creation:
The desire to create is one of the deepest yearnings of the human soul. No matter our talents, education, backgrounds, or abilities, we each have an inherent wish to create something that did not exist before.
Everyone can create. You don’t need money, position, or influence in order to create something of substance or beauty.
Creation brings deep satisfaction and fulfillment. We develop ourselves and others when we take unorganized matter into our hands and mold it into something of beauty—and I am not talking about the process of cleaning the rooms of your teenage children.
You might say, “I’m not the creative type. When I sing, I’m always half a tone above or below the note. I cannot draw a line without a ruler. And the only practical use for my homemade bread is as a paperweight or as a doorstop.”
If that is how you feel, think again, and remember that you are spirit daughters of the most creative Being in the universe. Isn’t it remarkable to think that your very spirits are fashioned by an endlessly creative and eternally compassionate God? Think about it—your spirit body is a masterpiece, created with a beauty, function, and capacity beyond imagination.
But to what end were we created? We were created with the express purpose and potential of experiencing a fulness of joy. Our birthright—and the purpose of our great voyage on this earth—is to seek and experience eternal happiness. One of the ways we find this is by creating things.
If you are a mother, you participate with God in His work of creation—not only by providing physical bodies for your children but also by teaching and nurturing them. If you are not a mother now, the creative talents you develop will prepare you for that day, in this life or the next.
You may think you don’t have talents, but that is a false assumption, for we all have talents and gifts, every one of us. The bounds of creativity extend far beyond the limits of a canvas or a sheet of paper and do not require a brush, a pen, or the keys of a piano. Creation means bringing into existence something that did not exist before—colorful gardens, harmonious homes, family memories, flowing laughter.
What you create doesn’t have to be perfect. So what if the eggs are greasy or the toast is burned? Don’t let fear of failure discourage you. Don’t let the voice of critics paralyze you—whether that voice comes from the outside or the inside.
If you still feel incapable of creating, start small. Try to see how many smiles you can create, write a letter of appreciation, learn a new skill, identify a space and beautify it.
The more you trust and rely upon the Spirit, the greater your capacity to create. That is your opportunity in this life and your destiny in the life to come. Sisters, trust and rely on the Spirit. As you take the normal opportunities of your daily life and create something of beauty and helpfulness, you improve not only the world around you but also the world within you.
Perhaps tomorrow I will post more about compassion. This post is pretty long already. To end this, I'm going to include my act of creativity that I completed yesterday:
Sunday, January 12, 2014
Every week we set an intention, so I'm gonna post mine right here.
I will keep courage, compassion, and connection on my mind and in my heart, and look for ways I can live them each day. I will be humble enough to realize their value in each situation, and also forgive myself when I fail to live them. I will seek to show courage, compassion and connection at every opportunity, and love myself through the process.
"Courage, compassion and connection will be my constant companions."
For any of my blog readers who don't know who Brene Brown is, or what her work is about... you can watch her TED talks right here. To me, they were/are life-changing. They feel completely true to me. And so important. Enjoy! (She curses now and then, but I feel that watching these videos is completely worth it!)