Terrified

Liking someone is the most vulnerable thing I can ever remember going through. I feel like karma has come to get me. All the emotions that others went through when I was on the "in-control" side of the relationship are now attacking me, and its really quite surprising. Once again, I'm developing a lot more respect for you men out there! You put yourself through a lot of vulnerability whenever it comes to dating, and dang, it's hard! I feel like a crazy person.

I remind myself, the torture of uncertainty that I'm going through right now is better than the alternative. Because the alternative is to numb, pretend like its not a big deal, and detach emotionally. And I will never be able to find joy if I'm emotionally detached.

So here's to taking a chance, a risk, and seeing what in the world is going to happen. Even if its pain, I've gotta try.

To quote myself, "I must be willing to guess if I ever want to know."

Even though I'm terrified.