How My 2013 Was Courageous


  • I decided to ask men on dates. For the first quarter of the year, I wanted at least one date a week. And if a guy didn't ask me on one, I would ask one myself. When they were friends with me already, it was only a little scary. But when they were someone I was really interested in... HOLY COW! It was really scary. Heart beating, feeling lightheaded, temperature all out of whack, brain paralyzed... yeah. Sorry, guys, for not understanding before. But I decided to do it and be uncomfortable, and I ended up with multiple dates a week, more friends, and some good times. =)  (January-March)
  • I taught the "Come Follow Me" lessons in Sunday School in the spring, and loved it. It took some courage, because there wasn't very much instruction. I had an outline, but I had to really try to follow the Spirit in all I did, not knowing how it would all go.(January-April)
  • I went to Chad's funeral, and did my best to work through the grieving process of when a friend dies. Which seemed a lot different to me than when my brother died. It was definitely a new experience.
  • I drove alone in San Francisco!! That was scary. (March)
  • I went on five dates with the same boy without DTR-ing. Which is courageous in its own way. And then, when the Spirit told me to discontinue the dating, I contacted him, brought it up, and was able to explain exactly how I felt. Even though I really don't like doing that, and always dread it. Did it anyway. (March)
  • I decided to aim for the specific internship I'm interested in, even though it sounded really prestigious and above my skill level. I still don't know the outcome, but I decided to dream and start the processing of preparing in 2013, and I consider it a brave choice. (March or April)
  • I put together a show to celebrate Chad, who passed away in February. I organized several classmates and put together a show at WhySound. It was a lot of work, but I'm so glad I did it. I look back and wonder where I got the initiative sometimes. But it just seemed like the right thing to do, and it wouldn't happen unless I did it, as far as I could tell. Like I said, I'm so glad I did that.
  • I wrote songs for class, and also submitted a song to the music therapy songwriting contest. I didn't win, which in my mind, makes my choice to try all the more brave. (April)
  • I put forth a creative and social idea, and actually saw it work! Harry Potter Reading Night was born. =) And I even used various voices while reading. (May-August)
  • I danced outside at Sarah's dance party. Danced like a fool. With people watching. I was one of about six people that were dancing, while the rest watched... But I let go of my inhibitions and just danced anyway. Until the police came. (June)
  • I somewhat pursued a young man I was really interested in, consistently for many weeks. It was scary. I tried to drop enough hints without being too pushy because I figured he probably wouldn't want to be chased too hard. That was pretty unnerving... Felt like slacklining or the highwire! And he never seemed to catch all the way on. Which was sad. But... the important thing to me is that I was brave enough to try (May-June). PS If you're reading this and you know who you are, feel free to ask me out. I can meet you in Salt Lake. (Being brave again...)
  • I worked through a bucket list with Sarah and Kathryn and Tanya and Ben (and others) over the summer. This actually wasn't very scary, but did involve some good adventures, including rodeos, chasing a fire and seeing some creepy signs, jeeping, eating sno-cones, going to a demo derby, and more. (May-August)
  • I opened myself up enough emotionally to really become close friends with Sarah and Kathryn. It's been hard for me to truly open up and have close girl friends. It meant a lot to me. =)  (May-December)
  • I performed at WhySound a few times, doing solo-ish stuff on guitar in public for the first time. This is a huge deal! Christian helped me a lot, for which I am extremely grateful. (May-December)
  • I decided I truly wanted another longer-term relationship, which I haven't really had since I broke up with Jeff in 2011. I prayed for it, and things with Rob started within a few days of that prayer. (July)
  • I helped Rob navigate and steer through a raging river of death. Remaining under control even though I was pretty darn nervous. (July)
  • I endured the vulnerability of the relationship uncertainty inherent in all dating relationships. (July-November)
  • I ziplined for the first time! (August)
  • I had a lot of hard conversations with Rob, at times when we disagreed. (September-November)
  • I got tons of vaccines and some bloodwork done. In other words, I faced a lot of needles. (September)
  • went dancing a lot, interacting with tons of guys and other people. It involved overcoming a fair amount of insecurity. (September-December)
  • I braved my lifespan development class without a textbook. Totally passed. (September-December)
  • I facilitated several music therapy sessions without a partner, and without a supervisor in the room (she was outside the door in case I needed her). I gained a lot of confidence, and actually started to have a really good time! (October-December)
  • stayed/slept overnight on the Quad in the freezing cold. (October)
  • I broke up with Rob after dating for four months, because I felt at that point it was the right thing to do. Even though I was dreading causing him any pain, and also was terrified of being alone again. (November)
  • I performed a dance! As part of my country swing class. Which included some crazy lifts and other things that were initially quite out of my comfort zone. (December)
  • I had a good friendly conversation with Rob's ex-girlfriend. What I thought would be extremely socially uncomfortable actually ended up being a really good experience. (December)
  • I told my good friend Steffen that I was really going to miss him. I opened up my heart. He kissed me, and that was pretty great. I put myself into this relationship with Steffen too, even though I didn't know how it was going to end. It didn't end up so great in the long run, but I'm glad I was courageous enough to express myself, try to see something work, and experience the vulnerability. I was willing to be hurt. I dated someone I looked up to in a lot of ways. And someone I was attracted to. All these things made it scary. But I gave it a try anyway. (December)
  • made the choice to move home, even though I really didn't want to. But I felt it was the honest-to-goodness right thing to do, as I prayed about it. Even though I knew it would be hard, I decided to jump into it anyway.
Which brings me to the current time (Feb 2014) as I write this from my family's computer at home. I'm excited to see what word will best describe my 2014. And I'm really grateful that "courageous" is the best word to describe my 2013. Life is good, and getting better.

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