To the Uttermost

I am using the topical guide in the scriptures to study about Jesus Christ this year. It's been a really good experience. I've learned about Him being the Bread of Life, about Him becoming our father as we receive His gospel, and other things. I'm now reading about Him as our Advocate. This is the first scripture in that section, and I love it:

Hebrews 7:25 - Wherefore he is able also to save them to the uttermost that come unto God by him, seeing he ever liveth to make intercession for them.

I know that God is a God of both justice and mercy. But I have recently been feeling in my heart the importance of focusing on His mercy, at least when it comes to emulating Him. I am imperfect, and prone to making mistakes and misjudging situations, so I know I have the potential to mess up mercy and justice in my own life and relationships. If I am going to mess up, I would rather be too merciful than too just.

This scripture touched my heart, and reminded me of some beautiful words from Elder Holland, given in general conference in April 2012:

"Which leads me to my third and last point. This parable--like all parables--is not really about laborers or wages any more than the others are about sheep and goats. This is a story about God’s goodness, His patience and forgiveness, and the Atonement of the Lord Jesus Christ. It is a story about generosity and compassion. It is a story about grace. It underscores the thought I heard many years ago that surely the thing God enjoys most about being God is the thrill of being merciful, especially to those who don’t expect it and often feel they don’t deserve it.

I do not know who in this vast audience today may need to hear the message of forgiveness inherent in this parable, but however late you think you are, however many chances you think you have missed, however many mistakes you feel you have made or talents you think you don’t have, or however far from home and family and God you feel you have traveled, I testify that you have not traveled beyond the reach of divine love. It is not possible for you to sink lower than the infinite light of Christ’s Atonement shines.

Whether you are not yet of our faith or were with us once and have not remained, there is nothing in either case that you have done that cannot be undone. There is no problem which you cannot overcome. There is no dream that in the unfolding of time and eternity cannot yet be realized. Even if you feel you are the lost and last laborer of the eleventh hour, the Lord of the vineyard still stands beckoning. “Come boldly [to] the throne of grace,” and fall at the feet of the Holy One of Israel. Come and feast “without money and without price” at the table of the Lord."

Let's not give up hope on ourselves, or anyone else.

Exercise Faith

"Despite all of the negative challenges we have in life, we must take time to actively exercise our faith. Such exercise invites the positive, faith-filled power of the Atonement of Jesus Christ into our lives." - Elder Richard G Scott

Life provides the challenges on which we can practice exercising our faith. At least one reason to be grateful for the hard times. =)

I can't go into every detail of my scripture study this morning, but I wish that every day of scripture study was like today. I feel so much more alive.

Believing and Forgiving

This still amazes me sometimes. But should it?

Jesus said:

"Therefore I say unto you, What things soever ye desire, when ye pray, believe that ye receive them, and ye shall have them."

The only additional qualifier (the first qualifier being believing) is that we forgive others. Sounds worth it.

(From Mark 11:24-26)

Not in Illinois anymore...

Well, as predicted, February was a little crazy. But I made it through! I finished my internship successfully... The last session I had was with an adult going through dialysis who was also a musician in his earlier years. We sang songs from the 70s together, and he harmonized with me wonderfully. In my mind, it was the perfect way to end my time there.

The few days after my internship were fun. I got to go to Nauvoo! And eat deep-dish pizza, and a few other things. And then before I knew it, it was time to fly home.

Moving home has been both happy and sad. Moving home is always a hard thing for me in at least a few ways. I have confidence that things will improve and I will find my way as time goes on.

Life is full of learning to love places and then moving on to new things, wherever God asks. I will trust that my present and future are where God wants me to be, and I'll look toward the future with faith.

My Light in the Wilderness

Here's my adaptation of 1 Nephi 17:13 in the Book of Mormon:

13 And I will also be your light in [your single years]; and I will prepare the way before you, if it so be that ye shall keep my commandments; wherefore, inasmuch as ye shall keep my commandments ye shall be led towards [your] promised [family]; and ye shall know that it is by me that ye are led.

http://www.lds.org/scriptures/bofm/1-ne/17?lang=eng

I'm so grateful I can be guided in anything, even (or especially) dating. =) And I have confidence He'll guide me in parenting too, and whatever any of the next challenges may be. 

Institute

I'm still trying to shake the sadness and worry that I've had since yesterday. I was stressed about preparing my Institute lesson, but I got it prepared and went to my classroom... And no students came. It was discouraging. But on the bright side, I got to attend a different class and reflect on the doctrine of repentance (the topic being addressed by Dustin and Derek).

I'm hoping for a return of confidence soon. Maybe I'm also feeling a little deficient when it comes to my new job I started this week, my duties as a county delegate, not having an internship secured yet, and wondering if I can really do all The Lord asks of me. 

Sounds like I need more genuine faith. I will choose to embrace optimism, hope, and humility. Even though I don't feel like it right now...

Sacrifice

One of the most painful verses in the Old Testament:

And [God] said, Take now thy son, thine only son Isaac, whom thou lovest, and get thee into the land of Moriah; and offer him there for a burnt offering upon one of the mountains which I will tell thee of.

In order to be refined, we have to be perfectly willing to give up everything we care about the most, in faith that somehow God will still keep His promises, and that either in this life or the next, everything will turn out better than we imagined.

It's one thing to casually acknowledge it, and another thing to go through it.

For me, part of it has been being single when nearly all of my friends are married with children. I've always wanted a loving relationship so much, but I think one of the reasons I am still single is that God needed me to learn to turn to Him for comfort and help with my problems, instead of trying to find another person to make me whole.

I'm happy to say that recently, I've really started to feel whole. I've found comfort in God, and I don't have that desperate lonely feeling anymore (or at least not nearly as often). I know that God has plenty of work for me to do to help me grow and to help me serve others. I feel like I have work to do in the building the kingdom, and I feel no need to worry about the fact that I am single. I trust my Heavenly Father that everything will turn out right, and I'll just simply trust in His timing and focus on the things He's asked me to do at this point in life. It is a fantastic feeling, starting to feel whole.

After I've learned this lesson sufficiently, I'm sure I'll be called upon to sacrifice something else. But with each trial my faith and confidence in Him will grow, and I'll be able to meet every challenge that comes and every sacrifice that is asked of me.

Faith is such a good feeling. =)

Just Had An Apostrophe...

I just had an epiphany, while I was praying. Fear is the problem in my life right now. Fear is keeping me from doing what I need to do in Relief Society in order to start seeing miracles. Fear is keeping me from doing what I need to do in music therapy in order to start seeing true therapy, and miracles. And fear is probably keeping me from seeing miracles in my dating life as well.

Well whaddayaknow?

And as I thought about that, I remembered that fear is the opposite of faith. And that perfect love and faith also can not coexist. And since, through faith in Jesus Christ, I can do all things, then I guess it would only follow that with fear in my heart, I can do nothing. And God can do nothing (or little) in my life if my heart is full of fear and not faith.

I need to choose faith. Even if its scary. Because fear is lame. And even if miracles don't come, due to choices of others, I will know that the lack of miracle was not because of me. I will know I gave my heart and my faith, and my best. Either result of my showing faith is better than the results of living in fear.

Pizzazz

Life has kind of lost it's sparkliness. Probably just from being so busy. And having a lame collection of classes. And feeling like I'm not doing enough with my calling.

But circumstances shouldn't determine how I feel that much. I want more of the Spirit, so that I can find more joy in life. And know how to help others.

How am I going to get more of the Spirit in my life? More sincere prayer, more focused scripture study, and putting my calling ahead of just about everything else. I'm reluctant to do that, but I'm trying to have faith that if I give Him more of my time (and heart), He'll magnify the rest of my time, and help me find the joy I need, and teach me how to serve each of His children.

Please pray for me to be able to make those changes!

Rock-climbing in the Dark

Went rock-climbing tonight with some friends. By the time it was my turn, it was pretty dark. And just like the time the orchestra stand lights lost power during our outdoor performance of Pirates of Penzance, things went better. I climbed faster and more confidently when I had to feel for holds instead of looking for (and thinking about) them. We played more unitedly and musically and precisely when we could barely read our sheet music. There are many things more powerful, useful, and important than sight.

Look Not Behind Thee...

Excerpt from Jeffrey R. Holland, "The Best Is Yet To Be"

"Some of you may wonder: Is there any future for me? What does a new year or a new semester, a new major or a new romance, a new job or a new home hold for me? Will I be safe? Will life be sound? Can I trust in the Lord and in the future? Or would it be better to look back, to go back, to stay in the past?

To all such of every generation, I call out, “Remember Lot’s wife.” Faith is for the future. Faith builds on the past but never longs to stay there. Faith trusts that God has great things in store for each of us and that Christ truly is the “high priest of good things to come” (Hebrews 9:11).

Keep your eyes on your dreams, however distant and far away. Live to see the miracles of repentance and forgiveness, of trust and divine love that will transform your life today, tomorrow, and forever. That is a New Year’s resolution I ask you to keep."

I have so much to look forward to. Today's miracle is that my future is going to be awesome. God has great things in store for me. And not necessarily only in my distant and far away future. =) Life is good. It's epic.

Within and Without

Faith is huge. It's basically the most important thing in life. With faith in Christ we can and will be able to do anything. Without it we'll just stay natural men and women, going along through life, thinking we're progressing, but we won't be. And we won't be happy. Occasional good moments, but no real happiness. We'll be bitter at life because it didn't give us any of the joy that we instinctively thought it would. But if we have faith in Christ, miracles will occur within and without ourselves. All the dreams and hopes that we instinctively felt would come our way will come. We actually will have a happy ending (well, kind of - we actually won't have an ending, but we will have happy). Our progress will be real, and our joy will be real. We'll be grateful for every moment of our lives if we've lived it with faith in Christ. Is there really anything more valuable and important that we could do than cultivating and using our faith in Jesus Christ?

I'm still studying faith, if you couldn't tell. There's so much! I might be on this subject for quite a while... Then it'll be onto repentance. I'm thinking that one won't go much faster than faith...

Hooray for the gospel!!!