Double Rainbow, Bright and Vivid...

Yesterday I saw the most beautiful, bright, vivid rainbow I've ever seen in my life.

I didn't get any pictures of it.

But Brittany did:

http://freshmenories.blogspot.com/2011/10/magic-in-air.html

Welt-ed

We had a party with the boys of the house of the corner. We forged an alliance with them. Basically just played card games and a game involving a wooden spoon and a bucket. That game is where the welts came from, but mostly on Mallory and some of the guys. I got a scratch, but no welt.

That was by far the best part of the day. School is stressing me out physically. It's interesting to observe. Instead of getting emotionally worked up, I just eat. Or if I can't eat, I clench my fist and release it for a while. My muscles get all tight everywhere. It's fascinating. I prefer it, over getting emotional and crying.

I used to distract myself with Facebook when I was starting to get stressed or anxious. But I deleted my Facebook app on my phone, and I'm using an add-on to Chrome that will only let me be on Facebook for twenty minutes a day. So I have to ration my time rather severely. But I feel free! =)

I'm trying to think of coping strategies other than eating. Any ideas? Running is one of my strategies, but I only have time to do that a few times a week. Music doesn't always work as well on me as it used to, because I'm studying it. I can't just listen to music, it'll remind me of school. I analyze every song for its therapeutic properties. Which makes it less therapeutic to me, but more therapeutic for others I'll be able to use it with in the future. Another coping strategy is praying, but I feel like I should also couple that with something else. I feel like God wants me to ask Him for help with it, but then do what I can to take care of it, and He'll magnify my efforts. When I prayed about it I got the feeling He wants me to do both. Another thing I do is look for really awesome art on the internet (like on deviantart.com). And of course, socializing (particularly with men) is a big coping strategy for me. It helps me forget almost all my problems.

Please...let me know if you have ideas, or something that works for you!

Sleepy Hollow

Lovin' life. =)

I See The Light

I've learned a lot in the last couple days. There are some things I've started to "see the light" about. And they're probably too personal to share in detail with the entire world on a website. =) But I feel like a lot of it is represented in, among other things, the themes in the movie Tangled. Right before this scene, Rapunzel is telling Flynn she's afraid of her dream (of seeing the lanterns) not being everything she's expected it to be. And she's also afraid that it WILL be everything she expected, because what do you do then? And Flynn/Eugene says something like "You find another dream."

For me, it's as if I got lost in the woods, and haven't even made it to the lanterns yet. But I will. I was too afraid of my "lanterns" not being as amazing as I was hoping they would be, so I stopped trying to find them. Or maybe I never left my tower. Well, enough of doing that! I'm going to find my lanterns, and they'll be just as awesome as I was expecting them to be, and once I've done that, I'll find a new dream. And there will always be enough dreams to chase. There's no end to the happiness that I can have if I want it, and if I'm willing to do what it takes to find it.

And P.S. - I have a new favorite Disney guy. I haven't been this twitterpated by an animated movie since I watched Anastasia. =)

Conference Weekend Pictures

I took a lot of pictures the weekend of General Conference. These are all at Temple Square, and are some of my favorites, out of all the ones I took. The bottom one is my beautiful parents. I was able to spend the Saturday morning session with them, in the Conference Center. It was a wonderful, peaceful experience. 

Creating

I've been thinking about Improvisation and Composing. I think the reason they are empowering and feel so good is that we are creating, and creating is a God-like activity. Pres. Dieter F. Uchtdorf has said:

"Heavenly Father is able to accomplish these two great goals—the immortality and eternal life of man—because He is a God of creation and compassion. Creating and being compassionate are two objectives that contribute to our Heavenly Father's perfect happiness. Creating and being compassionate are two activities that we as His spirit children can and should emulate. ...

The desire to create is one of the deepest yearnings of the human soul. No matter our talents, education, backgrounds, or abilities, we each have an inherent wish to create something that did not exist before.

Everyone can create. You don't need money, position, or influence in order to create something of substance or beauty. ...

Creation brings deep satisfaction and fulfillment. We develop ourselves and others when we take unorganized matter into our hands and mold it into something of beauty....

What you create doesn't have to be perfect. So what if the eggs are greasy or the toast is burned? Don't let fear of failure discourage you. Don't let the voice of critics paralyze you—whether that voice comes from the outside or the inside. 

As you take the normal opportunities of your daily life and create something of beauty and helpfulness, you improve not only the world around you but also the world within you."

I believe what he says. Creating things is one way to become like God, and its a yearning that we all have, but we often grow too self-conscious to satisfy that yearning. Often when we yearn something, there is also the fear in the back of our mind that the thing we yearn will not bring us as much happiness as we hope it will. And then we decide not to seek what we yearn, in order to save ourselves from possibly being disappointed. I never really realized until now that improvising takes faith!

I have a new appreciation for music therapy, because it highlights both of the things President Uchtdorf talked about. Creating and compassion. The very term "music therapy" implies both. I will try to approach my music therapy, humbly, as a sacred, god-like activity, and I will try to approach improvisation and composition with faith.

Happy thoughts

Miracles and happy thoughts for today:

The snowflakes were big, pretty and slow.

I got to help a friend understand music theory better.

Jeff looks pretty good with facial hair... (as far as I can tell from his webcam) =)

I have food in my cupboards (thanks to the kindness of my parents on Monday)

Christmas is coming!

The roof-tops crowned with snow...

Totally got a haircut. Some people do that all the time. But for me it's a big deal. Jami did an amazing job cutting my hair, and I'm loving it! I actually look like I'm in my 20s, I think. Jeff and his family all said they liked it, especially his mom. She said I look classy. =)

The miracle of the day is how astonishingly beautiful it is outside. The "blizzard" that was forecast ended up being a peaceful heavy snowfall. Jeff walked me home around midnight, and the moon was recently full and the snow was deep and mostly untouched. It was a perfectly peaceful dark winter night. It reminds me of one of my favorites poems of all time, by Sara Teasdale.

There will be rest, and sure stars shining
     Over the roof-tops crowned with snow,
A reign of rest, serene forgetting,
     The music of stillness holy and low.

I will make this world of my devising
     Out of a dream in my lonely mind.
I shall find the crystal of peace, – above me
     Stars I shall find.

It was nice to have someone to share it with. I would have enjoyed it even if I had been in solitude, because of it's beauty, but I think its beauty was magnified by being there to share it with someone I care about so much. =)

Don't Wait

Pictures I take as I'm walking to class. I try not to stop walking too abruptly, so that I don't get run over by bike, scooter, or pedestrian. Every time that I'm tempted not to take the picture, I remember Whitney's story she told me, when she saw a beautiful tree on the campus of Snow College and decided she'd take a picture of it the next day. She was all prepared the next day, but when she got to that spot, the tree was gone. All the grass around it was gone too. I think there may have even been a crater there. I'm not lying, ask her about it!

So I've learned my lesson from her. Here are the pictures I took today.

This last one was so much prettier in real life. 

The sunlight took all the color out of the photograph, but in real life,

the sunlight only made it more beautiful and vibrant.

Change can be beautiful

I stayed pretty busy the whole day. I've felt on top of things (for example, I actually paid attention in all my classes), and its been a great feeling.

Jeff and I had a misunderstanding on our blog, and had to talk through it. It's just so funny. I've never been through such a gracefully settled conflict. We're great for each other, I think.

The snow was so beautiful this evening. Snowflakes the size of quarters, falling slowly in the black sky. I started acting like my friend Aaron did years ago, when he moved to Idaho and first saw the snow. I just stood there staring up, amazed. I'm grateful the snow reminded me that it can be beautiful, otherwise I might have been pretty discouraged that it was snowing already. =)

Autumn is a Miracle

I love it so much when the leaves change color.