Thursday, May 1, 2014

Inadequate

I'm feeling inadequate. Doubting I can handle my responsibilities. I think I can do a mediocre job. But I want to do more. My responsibilities are pretty important things. That help people. Sigh. 

I went to an Institute Inservice meeting tonight, which overwhelmed me a little. But also gave me some comfort too. We read Doctrine and Covenants 123:16-17. 

16 You know, brethren, that a very large ship is benefited very much by a very small helm in the time of a storm, by being kept workways with the wind and the waves.

17 Therefore, dearly beloved brethren, let us cheerfully do all things that lie in our power; and then may we stand still, with the utmost assurance, to see the salvation of God, and for his arm to be revealed.

 
I guess I just need to remember what someone said a few days ago. There may be more work than we can do, but the only healthy way to approach it is just to start. Get working on what there is to work on, and whether or not it gets done, the time was used well, and good things happened that wouldn't have happened otherwise. 

And I also need to remember my worth does not hang on my performance. God loves me no matter how well I teach Institute, lead Relief Society, play the piano and guitar, take care of my body, meet my job expectations, serve my family, and get at least one the few awesome guys I know to date me (the hardest one!). These are important things, but my worth and His love for me don't change based on my performance of these duties.  I'll try to look at all these things as learning opportunities, and chances to do good for others.

And I need to remember that "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." I don't FEEL that at present, but I do choose to believe it and hope it'll sink in deeper as time goes on. =)

I am grateful for my life and all it's facets. I need to remember that. Because it's a wonderful feeling when I do. 

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