To the Uttermost

I am using the topical guide in the scriptures to study about Jesus Christ this year. It's been a really good experience. I've learned about Him being the Bread of Life, about Him becoming our father as we receive His gospel, and other things. I'm now reading about Him as our Advocate. This is the first scripture in that section, and I love it:

Hebrews 7:25 - Wherefore he is able also to save them to the uttermost that come unto God by him, seeing he ever liveth to make intercession for them.

I know that God is a God of both justice and mercy. But I have recently been feeling in my heart the importance of focusing on His mercy, at least when it comes to emulating Him. I am imperfect, and prone to making mistakes and misjudging situations, so I know I have the potential to mess up mercy and justice in my own life and relationships. If I am going to mess up, I would rather be too merciful than too just.

This scripture touched my heart, and reminded me of some beautiful words from Elder Holland, given in general conference in April 2012:

"Which leads me to my third and last point. This parable--like all parables--is not really about laborers or wages any more than the others are about sheep and goats. This is a story about God’s goodness, His patience and forgiveness, and the Atonement of the Lord Jesus Christ. It is a story about generosity and compassion. It is a story about grace. It underscores the thought I heard many years ago that surely the thing God enjoys most about being God is the thrill of being merciful, especially to those who don’t expect it and often feel they don’t deserve it.

I do not know who in this vast audience today may need to hear the message of forgiveness inherent in this parable, but however late you think you are, however many chances you think you have missed, however many mistakes you feel you have made or talents you think you don’t have, or however far from home and family and God you feel you have traveled, I testify that you have not traveled beyond the reach of divine love. It is not possible for you to sink lower than the infinite light of Christ’s Atonement shines.

Whether you are not yet of our faith or were with us once and have not remained, there is nothing in either case that you have done that cannot be undone. There is no problem which you cannot overcome. There is no dream that in the unfolding of time and eternity cannot yet be realized. Even if you feel you are the lost and last laborer of the eleventh hour, the Lord of the vineyard still stands beckoning. “Come boldly [to] the throne of grace,” and fall at the feet of the Holy One of Israel. Come and feast “without money and without price” at the table of the Lord."

Let's not give up hope on ourselves, or anyone else.

More Than an Angel

It's a good day to bear testimony of Jesus Christ.

Today at church, someone bore testimony of how the Savior fulfilled the Atonement perfectly and endured so much... so why would He turn His back now? He won't.

I then happened to read this quote by Dieter F. Uchtdorf:

"If we will lift our hearts to the Lord during those times [our own dark and bitter hours—times when our sorrow and grief may appear to be greater than we can bear], surely He will know and understand. He who suffered so selflessly for us in the garden and on the cross will not leave us comfortless now. He will strengthen, encourage, and bless us. He will encircle us in His gentle arms.
He will be more than an angel to us.
He will bring us blessed comfort, healing, hope, and forgiveness.
For He is our Redeemer.
Our Deliverer.
Our merciful Savior and our blessed God.
"Encircled in His Gentle Arms," Ensign, March 2015 - emphasis added

Trials and broken hearts change us. It's changing me. The times during the day that I remember to turn to the Savior, I find a measure of peace, and I can tell I'm becoming a more trusting person. I don't trust Him every minute - but I hope to become more consistent. For now, I'm happy that I don't stay miserable and doubtful all the time. My bouncing back and forth is progress, and I'm grateful for it.

I don't like pain... but I can't deny that I'm changing because of it. And through Jesus, our Savior, that change can be for the better.

Believing and Forgiving

This still amazes me sometimes. But should it?

Jesus said:

"Therefore I say unto you, What things soever ye desire, when ye pray, believe that ye receive them, and ye shall have them."

The only additional qualifier (the first qualifier being believing) is that we forgive others. Sounds worth it.

(From Mark 11:24-26)

My Light in the Wilderness

Here's my adaptation of 1 Nephi 17:13 in the Book of Mormon:

13 And I will also be your light in [your single years]; and I will prepare the way before you, if it so be that ye shall keep my commandments; wherefore, inasmuch as ye shall keep my commandments ye shall be led towards [your] promised [family]; and ye shall know that it is by me that ye are led.

http://www.lds.org/scriptures/bofm/1-ne/17?lang=eng

I'm so grateful I can be guided in anything, even (or especially) dating. =) And I have confidence He'll guide me in parenting too, and whatever any of the next challenges may be. 

Self-Compassion

This month I will be working on self-compassion.

The easiest way to explain it is: I will talk to myself the same way I talk to the people I love.

When I first tried to work on this last year, it was really hard. I tried to think of nice things to say to myself, and everything I would try to say would turn into advice or direction-giving. It was really hard! I've had a little bit of practice since then, but am excited to become more consistent and genuine with it this month.

At first I was hesitant to work on this, because it sounded so selfish, and I have issues about selfishness. As I've read the research and thought about it more, I've realized self-compassion is not a selfish thing. It just means we don't treat ourselves like an enemy. It doesn't mean we put ourselves and our needs far above everybody else's and tune out of their lives. It just means that we don't attack ourselves, especially in moments of weakness.

If we consider ourselves to be our own friend, we should talk to ourselves as a friend. If we consider ourselves an enemy, well didn't Jesus Christ say to love our enemies?

Self-compassion does not mean we take more and more time to ourselves. It just means that the time that we do spend with ourselves doesn't involve verbal abuse from within.

As awkward as it might be, this week when I am tempted to insult myself, I will either say "I've got your back, Ali", give myself a hug (seems silly, but has helped in the past!), or find something else encouraging to say. And I will start my commute every day with the song "I Know Heavenly Father Loves Me." =)

Wholehearted Journey

I am intending 2015 to be a very healing year. I know things won't be perfect by the end of the year, but I know things will be better. No matter what the circumstances outside me, my life will be better internally.

I intend to do this through a focus on my Savior, Jesus Christ. I believe that through Him, my sins can be forgiven, my mistakes can be learned from and made beautiful or remedied, and I can be given the strength to grow and change. He sees me as "the glorious being [I am] capable of becoming."

I will be studying and applying His Atonement in my daily and weekly life. I also intend to study and apply the things I've learned from Brene Brown's research. Her research (without God) is not enough, because, as part of her research explains, spirituality is a necessary component. A belief in God and His love is essential in order for healing and resilience to occur.

For me, healing comes through Jesus Christ. And I believe that whether or not people acknowledge it, He is the source of all healing.

I'm going to be trying out each of the Guideposts to Wholehearted Living, one for each month, and living them, to see if these seeds are good. (See Alma 32.) I believe they are, but I will try and see. And I am very excited to see the fruits that I believe will come, as I plant these seeds. =)

Not only do I believe this will help me be happier, I feel that it will help me to bring light to others, and help me to serve people more powerfully, in my profession, my personal ministry, and in my everyday life.



--The guidepost I intend to embrace for the month of January is self-compassion. Which I will write about tomorrow!--

With Thee

"...and thou didst bear all these things with patience because the Lord was with thee; and now thou knowest that the Lord did deliver thee."

Alma 38:4

When I started to realize The Lord was with me, it DID become a lot easier to bear things with patience. I try to think of Him not only as a Savior, but as a Friend. His companionship makes all the difference in my happiness and peace. 

18 Months

The last 18 months of my life have been the happiest since 2008. And maybe even happier than that. I've been a lot more at peace, with more faith and trust, and more excitement for the present and the future. I've learned, felt loved, and grown a lot. And I'm just really grateful for that! I'm grateful for people who helped along the way, such as Juan/Tito who started it all with one conversation, Steffen, Sarah, and all my other friends who have inspired me. Above all, the happiness has come from the Savior. Each of the people I mentioned inspired me to come closer to the Savior in different ways, and He has been healing me, inspiring me, accompanying me, and helping me grow.

I feel fantastic. =) And the best is yet to come.

Because of Him

Yesterday was awesome. It was a pretty full day. The awesome part is that I felt like I was the best version of myself I've been. I felt sincere and kind. I've been kind before, but not always sincerely. My authenticity and sincerity improvements make for a richer experience in life. =)

I can sense a more real conversion than I've had before, and I love it. There's a lot more love and happiness available in life than I thought there was. And it's because of Christ.

http://youtu.be/_S3TI4bYerU

The day really was awesome. The Spirit in our testimony meeting was actually really strong! I had a temple recommend interview, and felt deep peace and emotions. I got to go visiting teaching, as well as to a meeting where I also felt the Spirit as we planned for an awesome family history event. I got several opportunities to serve, and took them, even though I didn't have to. I'm glad I did. 

My friend Bronson asked his Facebook friends how Jesus Christ has made a difference in our lives. I responded that because of Him, I can be brave and act in courage, knowing that all my mistakes that I make as I'm trying to learn by experience can be forgiven, healed, and made into something beautiful. So there's no need to be afraid. Because of Him I can leave behind perfectionism and experience true growth, joy, and gratitude instead. He's my safety, and provides me with all the hope I need. 

I am so eternally grateful to know I have a Savior who loves me infinitely. Believing that changes everything. I know He lives and I know He loves me. And I know He is the Son of God. 

No Twenty-Something's

Recently I've prayed a lot to find friends. This week I've had some great friends to spend time with, and have been very social. I had to laugh though, when I realized that none of my friends this week are in their 20s. My friends here that spent time with me this week include my  17-year-old brother, the Bradshaw's (in their 50s), my friend Guy (early 30s), and my friend/teacher/mentor Gerry (36ish). And tonight I'm having a sleepover with the sibs.

I'm glad I wasn't more specific, because these are some pretty great friends. I may be more specific in my prayers about finding someone to date... My own decade is preferable for that. =)

Anyway, the last few days have been good. Tonight I was able to rock out to "We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together" at my guitar/piano lesson. Therapy right there! It was nice to goof off, get a little bit of anger out, and improve musically all at the same time. =)

On a different note, I want to come closer to Christ. I thought a lot about the Second Coming yesterday during a conversation with Guy, and I just want to do everything in my power to feel ready and secure in my relationship with Divinity. 

General Conference Quotes: LeGrand R. Curtis Jr. - Redemption

The scriptures, literature, and the experiences of life are filled with stories of redemption. Through Christ, people can and do change their lives and obtain redemption. I love stories of redemption.

I think this is the most important principle in the Gospel to me. People CAN and DO change their lives, through Christ.

I'm blessed to have seen it in my life and the lives of my friends. I saw it on my mission. Some of my favorite examples include my friend Ryan, who just received the Melchizadek priesthood a couple months ago. I loved hearing his stories and his unique perspective on life and the gospel. He'd known the bitter, and now he was getting to know the sweet, more and more each day. Another example is my friend Jeffrey, whom I dated for a long time, and consequently I got to hear his testimony often. I'll always be grateful for his testimony of the transforming power of the Atonement of Jesus Christ. (For the story of his life, and an expression of his testimony, if you'd like, visit http://jeffrey.ldsphilosopher.com/?page_id=8)

In personal experience, the Savior has redeemed and healed my previously failing relationship with my father. He's changed my heart to help me see others differently and love them more easily. He's led me and guided me, and helped me see the way I should go, which has definitely altered the course of my life.

I'm so grateful to Him, and for the change He has brought about in my life and the lives of those I care about.

If anyone tells you that you or someone else can't change, they are either lying or they don't know the truth.

To quote my favorite sentence from Preach My Gospel, "Everything that seems unfair about life can be made right through the Atonement of Jesus Christ."

And lastly, to quote from the conference talk I started with,

Savior, Redeemer of my soul,
Whose mighty hand hath made me whole,
Whose wondrous pow’r hath raised me up
And filled with sweet my bitter cup!
What tongue my gratitude can tell,
O gracious God of Israel. 

Never can I repay thee, Lord,
But I can love thee. Thy pure word,
Hath it not been my one delight,
My joy by day, my dream by night?
Then let my lips proclaim it still,
And all my life reflect thy will. 

(“Savior, Redeemer of My Soul,” Hymns, no. 112)

Isaiah 64

"Oh that thou wouldest rend the heavens, that thou wouldest come down, that the mountains might flow down at thy presence..." (Isaiah 64:1)

There is so much corruption in the world. So much violence, so many lies. I am excited for the day when all of that is put to an end. Can you imagine a world full of honesty? Light? Virtue? Love? Cheerfulness? Forgiveness? Intelligence? Unselfish service? Unity? Peace?

I believe we'll experience that, and more.

"For since the beginning of the world men have not heard, nor perceived by the ear, neither hath the eye seen, O God, beside thee, what he hath prepared for him that waiteth for him." (Isaiah 64:4)