Not in Illinois anymore...

Well, as predicted, February was a little crazy. But I made it through! I finished my internship successfully... The last session I had was with an adult going through dialysis who was also a musician in his earlier years. We sang songs from the 70s together, and he harmonized with me wonderfully. In my mind, it was the perfect way to end my time there.

The few days after my internship were fun. I got to go to Nauvoo! And eat deep-dish pizza, and a few other things. And then before I knew it, it was time to fly home.

Moving home has been both happy and sad. Moving home is always a hard thing for me in at least a few ways. I have confidence that things will improve and I will find my way as time goes on.

Life is full of learning to love places and then moving on to new things, wherever God asks. I will trust that my present and future are where God wants me to be, and I'll look toward the future with faith.

Up

I will do more quoting of Elder Carl Cook's talk later, I'm sure, but for right now I'm just going to quote six words.

Look up, step up, cheer up.

The Spirit definitely confirmed to me today that I need to step up. I have not been giving him my whole heart. He has not been first in my life. I've been on a sort of emotional/mental break. Not from talking about Him, but from feeling and knowing Him.

I feel hope, definitely, that if I sincerely turn to Him, and diligently step up and pour my heart into my duty and my current Relief Society quest, I really will cheer up. And the lives of others will be blessed as well! =)

And to quote Gandalf:

Now isn't that an encouraging thought?

General Conference Quotes: Elder Richard G. Scott (Again)

Scriptures are stalwart friends not limited by geography or calendar. They're always available when needed. ... Learning, pondering, searching, and memorizing scriptures is like filling a filing cabinet with friends that can be called upon anytime, anywhere in the world. Great power can come from memorizing scriptures. To memorize a scripture is to forge a new friendship. It's like discovering a new individual who can help in time of need, give inspiration and comfort, and be a source of motivation for needed change. 

I'm quoting him again (but a different quote) because I just loved the beginning of his talk. It speaks to me because I don't feel very much constancy in my friendships right now. Life is so full of change. It's not anyone's fault, it's just part of life.

In addition to Mosiah 4:9, which I think I've gotten down, I'm also adding 2 Nephi 2:24.

For behold, all things have been done in the wisdom of him who knoweth all things.

It reminds me not to get discouraged about where I am. I feel like I've been led, little step by little step. It's good to know that being at Utah State, being single, studying music therapy, serving in the church, and so forth, were all done in the wisdom of Him who sees the end from the beginning, loves me infinitely, and wants me to be happy.  So I know things will work out right.

General Conference Quotes: Elder Richard G. Scott

Scriptures can form a foundation of support. They can provide an incredibly large resource of willing friends, who can help us. A memorized scripture becomes an enduring friend that is not weakened with the passage of time.
-Elder Richard G. Scott

It sounds like the scriptures are what I need! I was realizing once again this weekend how hard change is. As more and more friends get married or move away, it can be hard not to get lonely. It's hard to accept that someone once very close to me won't be anymore. Friendships change over time, and sometimes that can be discouraging.

So, I think memorizing scriptures will be helpful to me. I'm realizing more than ever that I need to turn to God as my Friend, and rely on Him, especially when things are changing. He is constant. I can (I think) understand what Mr. D was trying to explain in high school choir years ago. "We may choose something like a Star to stay our minds on, and be staid."

The scripture I plan to memorize first is Mosiah 4:9:

Believe in God; believe that he is, and that he created all things, both in heaven and in earth; believe that he has all wisdom, and all power, both in heaven and in earth; believe that man doth not comprehend all the things which the Lord can comprehend.

Rock-climbing in the Dark

Went rock-climbing tonight with some friends. By the time it was my turn, it was pretty dark. And just like the time the orchestra stand lights lost power during our outdoor performance of Pirates of Penzance, things went better. I climbed faster and more confidently when I had to feel for holds instead of looking for (and thinking about) them. We played more unitedly and musically and precisely when we could barely read our sheet music. There are many things more powerful, useful, and important than sight.

Good Figs

I've been reading in Jeremiah, specifically chapter 24. Jeremiah has a vision of two baskets of figs. One has good figs, and the other has figs so bad they can definitely not be eaten. These are compared to the children of Israel and their bondage in Babylon. Both kinds of figs, or people, are taken. They are both put through the same trial. The wicked are cursed to experience all kinds of pains and afflictions as part of their bondage in Babylon, but this is what the Lord says about the "good figs."

5 Thus saith the Lord, the God of Israel; Like these good figs, so will I acknowledge them that are carried away captive of Judah, whom I have sent out of this place into the land of the Chaldeans for their good.

6 For I will set mine eyes upon them for good, and I will bring them again to this land: and I will build them, and not pull them down; and I will plant them, and not pluck them up.

7 And I will give them an heart to know me, that I am the Lord: and they shall be my people, and I will be their God: for they shall return unto me with their whole heart. (Jeremiah 24:5-7)

All kinds of people go through trials. Whether I am following the Lord or not, my life is going to be hard. But if I am serving and loving Him, those trials will be for my good. He will keep His eye on me and ensure that the things I'm going through are helping me grow. He'll help me to eventually find success and peace again. Most importantly, through my trials He will give me a new heart, to know Him, and to know that He is the Lord. The more trials I go through, the more I can see Him help me through them, and I come to know that I am His daughter, and He is my God and my Father. And though sometimes I wander, it's easier to come back because I understand His nature that much better than the last time. Through every trial, my testimony of Him becomes more sincere, and I can testify, make choices, and act with even more confidence than before. It's a beautiful thing.

I am so happy to have read this promise, because I really feel like this season in my life is for me to truly come to know God. That has been one of my foremost desires for several months now. It amazes me how God answers prayers. =) I'm so grateful to have found these verses. Now I've just gotta do my part to become/remain a "good fig."

The Praise of the World

O ye pollutions, ye hypocrites, ye teachers, who sell yourselves for that which will canker, why have ye polluted the holy church of God? Why are ye ashamed to take upon you the name of Christ? Why do ye not think that greater is the value of an endless happiness than that misery which never dies—because of the praise of the world? (Mormon 8:38, emphasis added)

The praise of the world distorts everything, doesn't it? At least for me it often does. The praise of the world makes misery look better than happiness, as Moroni mentioned. There have been a lot of times in my life where I have a pretty good idea about what the right answer is, what I should do, but I hesitate or don't do it because I fear what other people think. I fear the praise of the world being withdrawn. I should be more concerned about the Spirit being withdrawn. Everything becomes confusing when I worry about what others will think, rather than what God knows. He has my best interests at heart, as well as the best interests of all those around me, and He will work things out perfectly if I will just trust and follow Him! I will make a renewed effort to not care whether the world is praising me or not. If God is happy with me, I don't care who else is.