No Twenty-Something's

Recently I've prayed a lot to find friends. This week I've had some great friends to spend time with, and have been very social. I had to laugh though, when I realized that none of my friends this week are in their 20s. My friends here that spent time with me this week include my  17-year-old brother, the Bradshaw's (in their 50s), my friend Guy (early 30s), and my friend/teacher/mentor Gerry (36ish). And tonight I'm having a sleepover with the sibs.

I'm glad I wasn't more specific, because these are some pretty great friends. I may be more specific in my prayers about finding someone to date... My own decade is preferable for that. =)

Anyway, the last few days have been good. Tonight I was able to rock out to "We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together" at my guitar/piano lesson. Therapy right there! It was nice to goof off, get a little bit of anger out, and improve musically all at the same time. =)

On a different note, I want to come closer to Christ. I thought a lot about the Second Coming yesterday during a conversation with Guy, and I just want to do everything in my power to feel ready and secure in my relationship with Divinity. 

General Conference Quotes: Elder Richard G. Scott (Again)

Scriptures are stalwart friends not limited by geography or calendar. They're always available when needed. ... Learning, pondering, searching, and memorizing scriptures is like filling a filing cabinet with friends that can be called upon anytime, anywhere in the world. Great power can come from memorizing scriptures. To memorize a scripture is to forge a new friendship. It's like discovering a new individual who can help in time of need, give inspiration and comfort, and be a source of motivation for needed change. 

I'm quoting him again (but a different quote) because I just loved the beginning of his talk. It speaks to me because I don't feel very much constancy in my friendships right now. Life is so full of change. It's not anyone's fault, it's just part of life.

In addition to Mosiah 4:9, which I think I've gotten down, I'm also adding 2 Nephi 2:24.

For behold, all things have been done in the wisdom of him who knoweth all things.

It reminds me not to get discouraged about where I am. I feel like I've been led, little step by little step. It's good to know that being at Utah State, being single, studying music therapy, serving in the church, and so forth, were all done in the wisdom of Him who sees the end from the beginning, loves me infinitely, and wants me to be happy.  So I know things will work out right.

General Conference Quotes: Elder Richard G. Scott

Scriptures can form a foundation of support. They can provide an incredibly large resource of willing friends, who can help us. A memorized scripture becomes an enduring friend that is not weakened with the passage of time.
-Elder Richard G. Scott

It sounds like the scriptures are what I need! I was realizing once again this weekend how hard change is. As more and more friends get married or move away, it can be hard not to get lonely. It's hard to accept that someone once very close to me won't be anymore. Friendships change over time, and sometimes that can be discouraging.

So, I think memorizing scriptures will be helpful to me. I'm realizing more than ever that I need to turn to God as my Friend, and rely on Him, especially when things are changing. He is constant. I can (I think) understand what Mr. D was trying to explain in high school choir years ago. "We may choose something like a Star to stay our minds on, and be staid."

The scripture I plan to memorize first is Mosiah 4:9:

Believe in God; believe that he is, and that he created all things, both in heaven and in earth; believe that he has all wisdom, and all power, both in heaven and in earth; believe that man doth not comprehend all the things which the Lord can comprehend.

Welt-ed

We had a party with the boys of the house of the corner. We forged an alliance with them. Basically just played card games and a game involving a wooden spoon and a bucket. That game is where the welts came from, but mostly on Mallory and some of the guys. I got a scratch, but no welt.

That was by far the best part of the day. School is stressing me out physically. It's interesting to observe. Instead of getting emotionally worked up, I just eat. Or if I can't eat, I clench my fist and release it for a while. My muscles get all tight everywhere. It's fascinating. I prefer it, over getting emotional and crying.

I used to distract myself with Facebook when I was starting to get stressed or anxious. But I deleted my Facebook app on my phone, and I'm using an add-on to Chrome that will only let me be on Facebook for twenty minutes a day. So I have to ration my time rather severely. But I feel free! =)

I'm trying to think of coping strategies other than eating. Any ideas? Running is one of my strategies, but I only have time to do that a few times a week. Music doesn't always work as well on me as it used to, because I'm studying it. I can't just listen to music, it'll remind me of school. I analyze every song for its therapeutic properties. Which makes it less therapeutic to me, but more therapeutic for others I'll be able to use it with in the future. Another coping strategy is praying, but I feel like I should also couple that with something else. I feel like God wants me to ask Him for help with it, but then do what I can to take care of it, and He'll magnify my efforts. When I prayed about it I got the feeling He wants me to do both. Another thing I do is look for really awesome art on the internet (like on deviantart.com). And of course, socializing (particularly with men) is a big coping strategy for me. It helps me forget almost all my problems.

Please...let me know if you have ideas, or something that works for you!

Going crazy!

I know most of my posts are positive. And I'm sure I'll be positive by the end of this post. But I just need to tell the world that my life is so crazy! Crazy busy, that is. The stress finally hit. Fortunately, my anxiety so far is just stress, not depressing or emotional. I'm grateful for that. I don't think I've cried from school stress at all this semester. Hope to keep that up.

The guys in the house on the corner helped me lighten up today. Had a jam session with Josh, read scriptures with all of them, and ran with Terryn. All such therapeutic activities. And it's so nice to have friends. And for me, to have male friends. It's so much easier for me to socialize with guys than with girls. Not sure why, but I've apparently been that way since birth, according to my mom.

Sometimes you just need someone to tell you everything's going to be okay. I think I need that. So I'll ask God to tell me that tonight. If He says it, I'll believe it. =) I could use some "peace of God, which passes all understanding."

P.S. I just have to say I'm so grateful for the RS 1st Counselor, Tanya. She rocks. I'm grateful the Lord called her to where she is. She's made my life immensely better than it would have been otherwise for the last couple weeks. She's a mortal angel. =)