Sacrifice

One of the most painful verses in the Old Testament:

And [God] said, Take now thy son, thine only son Isaac, whom thou lovest, and get thee into the land of Moriah; and offer him there for a burnt offering upon one of the mountains which I will tell thee of.

In order to be refined, we have to be perfectly willing to give up everything we care about the most, in faith that somehow God will still keep His promises, and that either in this life or the next, everything will turn out better than we imagined.

It's one thing to casually acknowledge it, and another thing to go through it.

For me, part of it has been being single when nearly all of my friends are married with children. I've always wanted a loving relationship so much, but I think one of the reasons I am still single is that God needed me to learn to turn to Him for comfort and help with my problems, instead of trying to find another person to make me whole.

I'm happy to say that recently, I've really started to feel whole. I've found comfort in God, and I don't have that desperate lonely feeling anymore (or at least not nearly as often). I know that God has plenty of work for me to do to help me grow and to help me serve others. I feel like I have work to do in the building the kingdom, and I feel no need to worry about the fact that I am single. I trust my Heavenly Father that everything will turn out right, and I'll just simply trust in His timing and focus on the things He's asked me to do at this point in life. It is a fantastic feeling, starting to feel whole.

After I've learned this lesson sufficiently, I'm sure I'll be called upon to sacrifice something else. But with each trial my faith and confidence in Him will grow, and I'll be able to meet every challenge that comes and every sacrifice that is asked of me.

Faith is such a good feeling. =)

General Conference Thoughts: President Monson's Opening Remarks

My brothers and sisters, I thank you for your faith and devotion to the gospel, for the love and care you show to one another, and for the service you provide in your wards and branches and stakes and districts. Thank you, as well, for your faithfulness in paying your tithes and offerings and for your generosity in contributing to the other funds of the Church.

As of the end of the year 2010, there were 52,225 missionaries serving in 340 missions throughout the world. Missionary work is the lifeblood of the kingdom. May I suggest that if you are able, you might consider making a contribution to the General Missionary Fund of the Church.

One theme that I heard over and over again in General Conference that I haven't heard anyone else talk about was the call to give more, financially. That initially sounds scary, but it wasn't. I felt peace about it. I heard, several times, a call to help the poor, and the missionaries, and anyone else in need.

I found it interesting, because this summer will probably see me the poorest I've been since I graduated from high school. This will be the first break in school that I don't move home and work at the place that I did before, where they love me and pay me well and have always taken me back. I decided to live on my own this summer, and it might be pretty rough, paying rent, finding a job, buying my own groceries, and saving up enough to get me through the next school year. Paying my tithing has always been easy for me. But now I get to be tested. Will I still give, when I have next to nothing? I hope to be able to say that as long as I have something to give, I'll give it.

And I know that in one way or another, I will be greatly blessed for it. That's what the Lord has promised. See Malachi 3:10-12 for the details. =)

Read full talk here:
http://lds.org/general-conference/2011/04/its-conference-once-again?lang=eng

Playtime & Devotion

When I have children, I want to play with them. Nearly constantly. Whenever they want to play. As a missionary, I was supposed to leave my past life behind, and put all my personal cares aside. I want to do the same thing for my children that I was supposed to do for my investigators and the Savior. Make my life, all my focus, be on them. Working in love and unity with my companion. The fewer chores I can do the better. My only projects should be those that benefit my children and my husband. My rest and rejuvenation prepare me to have the energy I need to keep devoting myself to my family. And I will be blessed for it. By losing my life in the service of others, I will find my life. I'll find the kind of joy that true missionaries feel, but probably amplified even more! I get to keep my family. =)