Thursday, March 31, 2011

Peace

Our pyramid group got together and we practiced my pyramid project for MT Ensemble, and it sounded awesome! I'm having them use the tone chimes, and I'm singing my favorite scripture above it. "Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you.... Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid." I have been clinging to that scripture for dear life. I love it. =)

"I knew it - I knew that God knew it - and I could not deny it."

I normally choose to focus almost exclusively on the Savior when I talk about spiritual things, and for good reason. He is Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the end. He is the Only Begotten Son of God, and He is my Savior and my Redeemer.

Today, however, I want to testify that God speaks to prophets. I in no way worship them. But I respect them and love them, because I know they speak God's word. He chooses them in their weakness and qualifies them for the work.

Today the Holy Spirit has testified to me, again, that my Heavenly Father and my Savior Jesus Christ appeared to a young man named Joseph Smith, and worked through him to restore the pure gospel of Jesus Christ. He was not perfect, but he was sincere, and he was telling the truth. I love him for what he did. I'm feeling so much gratitude and love in my heart right now, and I want to share it. And remember it. Though I've never met him, right now I feel like Joseph Smith is my friend and my brother. I'll defend him. I believe him. He was telling the truth.


Monday, March 28, 2011

Al dente haiku

It's good to have friends.

I hope to be a better one.

Thanks, friends that I have! =)



Saturday, March 26, 2011

Best of times, worst of times

I'm being emotionally stretched out and molded. I was once told by a roommate that I was like a robot, and void of human emotion. Years have passed. And now I'm being molded, stretched, and shaped by my current circumstances, and feeling all types of emotions! I like to think I'm becoming more of a real person. Either way, I'm finding it much easier to relate to others. I can now better understand what it feels like to want someone, anyone, to come and be a friend and take away some of my loneliness. I can better appreciate what a simple phone call or email can do for one's spirits.  I am actually really grateful that I'm starting to understand this. I feel like my soul is growing. It's always been so unnatural for me to love others...but its starting to happen, now that I'm  gaining more empathy. The first step to loving is to understand, I guess.

It is really amazing to see how well God is able to turn depressing, traumatic experiences into beautiful new beginnings. To come to Christ we need a broken heart, so these traumatic experiences are the perfect opportunity to come closer to Christ and have our soul healed, our path illuminated, and our soul comforted. He is the Light, the Life, and the Way. Every broken heart experience invites us to experience Him even deeper.

I feel like my pain is helping me become who I need to be, by inviting me to experience the Atonement even deeper and more sincerely.

My heart is broken. But I am at peace. And I am so grateful to God, for all of it.

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Boom-whack

I bruised my leg with a boom-whacker. Yep. I'm thinking of buying me some of my own though, because they're fun. =)

I got to help more people with Theory today! Corinne and I helped Nick and Mary Jane after Keyboard Harmony. I told them we should have a study group after class every time, so I can teach them Theory. I hope we do. It gives me a boost of happy feelings when I get to teach people Theory.

I finally exercised again. I haven't done that since before Spring Break. It felt good.

I'm especially in love with music today. By the way, I hope to someday master the oboe, the organ, the cello, the banjo, the boom-whackers, and the djembe. In addition to the piano, guitar, and voice (all of which definitely need more work). The accordian could be fun too... =)

Improvisation

"Music...can at the same time belong to the patient's world and be part of reality perceived by the senses of hearing, seeing, and touching." (Alvin, 1966, p. 138)

Audible, visual, tangible thoughts. =) I love music.


I love the smile on his face as he plays. =) I hope to someday play and improvise with the same freedom, and the same lack of fear. Let my joy show. Allow myself to feel joy. =)

Monday, March 21, 2011

Annoyingly Optimistic

In case anyone finds this blog to be too cheery or upbeat, or unbelievable ("How can anyone be that happy all the time?"), I just wanted to make the disclaimer that I try to usually only put positive things on here. Bad parts of my day are usually written elsewhere. Because I have bad days, or bad parts to my days. But when I'm making things public, I (usually) figure that if I send out good into the universe/internet, good will come back to me. =) Or something.

Blessings

I have been blessed today. =) My work and my prayers and anyone else's prayers if they prayed for me, paid off. Out of the 37 multiple choice questions on the test, I only missed two. =D If that ain't a miracle, I don't know what is... =) I've been pretty happy about that all day. I even sung the blues about it during my Methods class. And everyone cheered. =)

This evening was the Ward Talent Show. I was running out of time, so Amanda helped me make the cookies, because she's a saint and an angel. And I ran through my song a few times while they were in the oven. It was "Perhaps Love," which I did for my audition last year, so I was a little rusty. But I got a ride to the talent show, made some new friends, talked to the missionaries, was comforted and empathized with by Sister Gudmundson, and performed in the Talent Show, and also had a great time watching everyone else. It was fun when I was up on stage actually. I was playing the piano while singing, so I didn't have to look at anyone. And I had a microphone near my mouth, and I just felt ...cool. I sounded okay! And it was fun! Part of me was thinking "I could get used to this." The adrenaline rush was nice. =) I don't know if I've ever enjoyed soloing that much, until today. =)

I started doing work today on the Vineyard website that the church made (I believe it's vineyard.lds.org). I like to feel helpful. =) I suggest it to anyone that is feeling a little self-centered or selfish, like me. =) It doesn't take up too much time. But as the quote on that website reads: By small and simple things are great things brought to pass.

Well, when one wakes up at five, one is usually very very sleepy when ten-thirty rolls around. So I wish you all a good night. 

Jeremiah 9:23-24

Thus saith the LordLet not the wise man glory in his wisdom, neither let the mighty man glory in his might, let not the rich man glory in his ariches:

 24But let him that glories aglory in this, that he understands and knows me, that am the Lord which exercise lovingkindness, judgment, and righteousness, in the earth: for in these things I bdelightsaith the Lord.

I found this to be very poetic, and wanted to share. =)

Sunday, March 20, 2011

Paint!

I had a painting party at my apartment! And people came! And we painted pictures! It was so awesome!! =) I hope to take pictures of them tomorrow and post them on here for your viewing pleasure. They're currently posted all over the walls in our living room. =)

Going to bed super early tonight so I can get up early and study for my Anatomy test. Please pray for me and wish me luck!

March Madness

Warning: This post may be slightly more negative than usual.

90% of the status updates on my Facebook news feed were about basketball. Another subject of note was the Lady Gaga concert in Salt Lake.

Today, this bothered me. Do the majority of my friends know that the US fired missiles on another country today and we are now involved in another war? Are they preparing themselves against the possibility of a natural disaster like the one that hit Japan, or the possibility of radiation problems? Do they know that the moon will be closer to the earth tonight than it's been in 18 years and will probably appear bigger than any of us can remember seeing it, and would probably be a sight worth seeing?

Are they thinking about people who could use a friend? Are they thinking about the spring weather and all the awesome things they could be doing outdoors? Is their soul growing in any way as a result of their activity? Are they living up to their basic responsibilities? Is what they're doing really worth it?

I feel bad for judging now. And being negative. But I wanted to say this...but didn't want to put it on Facebook for fear of being attacked. =P

And I definitely recognize that I need to learn to have more fun. I guess you can probably tell that watching basketball does not fit the criteria of fun, for me.

If anyone would like to challenge me to some form of a game of basketball, I will gladly accept. =)

Saturday, March 19, 2011

Friday, March 18, 2011

Flashcards and Other News

Miracle of the day: finished my Anatomy flashcards!! 

Now I just have to spend all day tomorrow studying them...

In other news...
There are lots of people that care about me. That feels good.
There is such thing as drinking too much, even if the drinks aren't alcoholic. I feel yucky.
Megan's friend Lauren is really nice. 
I'm learning to play O Mio Babbino Caro on the guitar. It's really pretty.
I had a wonderful moment today during a role-played music therapy intervention. It was a "Wow! I made it here. I'm here at Utah State, majoring in Music Therapy! Who knew this is where I would be?" It was a cool moment. I was pretty happy about it. It was during Nick's intervention. I need to find out what chords he was using...
I got to help someone in my Theory class understand secondary dominants better! And I also explained the basics of Italian, French, and German six chords. He was really excited about those chords... I was just excited I got to help somebody with Theory! I love doing that.
My ASA went okay. Thank heaven.  =) I love drum circles...
God is good. =)

Little Things

‎"Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things." -Robert Brault 

Saw this on someone's facebook status today, and it hit me. So I wanted to keep it, and to share it. I don't have the brainpower or eloquence right now to expound upon it. I hope you'll forgive me. =)

Thursday, March 17, 2011

My Kindness Shall Not Depart From Thee


I was reading in 3 Nephi 22 today and thought of this song. I love it so much! These lyrics are beautiful. And then when you realize that they are from the scriptures, its amazing! These aren't the words of men, just trying to be comforting. These words are from God. HE is the one that promised us these things. =)

I don't understand some of the things happening in my life right now. But I know God loves me. Even if I'm not very good at feeling it right now. I still know its true. I've just got to hold out faithfully and soon I'll be able to recognize it easily again. =)

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Apparently not a long-board person... white-boards are my style

Today involved rapping in a drum circle.

Spilling my guts to my piano teacher. (Explaining my anxiety)

Passing a test (I think) that I didn't study for.

Watching a hip replacement surgery.

Buying clearance craft and scrapbook supplies at the bookstore. Including a white-board!

Memorizing two songs in two different keys on the piano.

Eating apple pie.

Talking to a fellow student who agrees with me about redistributed wealth.

All of these were basically good things, except for the hip replacement surgery. =)

Monday, March 14, 2011

Friends

So, the Music Therapy program has some really kind people! Three people hugged me after class because I mentioned that my Spring Break had been rough. I'm publicly now saying thanks to Lara, Katelin, and McKenna. =)

Sara, from my ward, also said that she would be my friend, as well as the other girls in her apartment. I like Sara. She's happy, kind, smart, fun, and empathetic.

Went crazy momentarily and volunteered to be in the Talent Show next week, and make cookies for it as well. Now I'm kinda pretty nervous about it... But I need to be more involved, so it's a good thing. =)

I really like the frame I painted. I like my paintings so much that I don't want to turn it into a drum like I'm supposed to, because the tape would hinder my ability to see clearly what I painted. And I just like it too much.

Falling asleep...

Friday, March 11, 2011

Kids

Charles: I want to marry you.
Josh: We can't get married, we're both boys. And I'm already married. To the queen.
Charles: But I'm a girl, because I'm the prince!
Josh: You're my son!!

Thursday, March 10, 2011

Life may have crumbled around me in the last few days...so it's about time I start counting my blessings more.

I'm grateful for my iPhone, for my favorite religion teacher from BYU-I, for my sister, for hot tubs, and for sleep.

Thursday, March 3, 2011

The Hand of God

I have been so blessed. I really think God has blessed mine and Jeffrey's relationship. Its weird that the two of us keep helping the other person to be better. You would think that would mean that one of us would need to be superior, in order to be inspiring the other. But no. We are just two weak people, and somehow as we spend time together we become better people. So maybe it's not us that's inspiring each other, maybe it is just the hand of God on our relationship. His grace is enabling our relationship to produce amazing fruit! =) That truly is a miracle! I really love God... He gives me so much more than I deserve!

Isaiah 64

"Oh that thou wouldest rend the heavens, that thou wouldest come down, that the mountains might flow down at thy presence..." (Isaiah 64:1)

There is so much corruption in the world. So much violence, so many lies. I am excited for the day when all of that is put to an end. Can you imagine a world full of honesty? Light? Virtue? Love? Cheerfulness? Forgiveness? Intelligence? Unselfish service? Unity? Peace?

I believe we'll experience that, and more.

"For since the beginning of the world men have not heard, nor perceived by the ear, neither hath the eye seen, O God, beside thee, what he hath prepared for him that waiteth for him." (Isaiah 64:4)

The Broken Road

Every long lost dream led me to where you are
Others who broke my heart, they were like northern stars
Pointing me on my way into your loving arms

This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you

It's amazing what God does with our lives. Whether our pain was a trial we needed to go through, or a bad choice we made, or a choice someone else made that hurt us, He turns it into something beautiful and leads us to happiness we couldn't even comprehend. Pretty sure that's one of the most amazing miracles I can think of. =)

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Playtime & Devotion

When I have children, I want to play with them. Nearly constantly. Whenever they want to play. As a missionary, I was supposed to leave my past life behind, and put all my personal cares aside. I want to do the same thing for my children that I was supposed to do for my investigators and the Savior. Make my life, all my focus, be on them. Working in love and unity with my companion. The fewer chores I can do the better. My only projects should be those that benefit my children and my husband. My rest and rejuvenation prepare me to have the energy I need to keep devoting myself to my family. And I will be blessed for it. By losing my life in the service of others, I will find my life. I'll find the kind of joy that true missionaries feel, but probably amplified even more! I get to keep my family. =)

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Look Not Behind Thee...

Excerpt from Jeffrey R. Holland, "The Best Is Yet To Be"
"Some of you may wonder: Is there any future for me? What does a new year or a new semester, a new major or a new romance, a new job or a new home hold for me? Will I be safe? Will life be sound? Can I trust in the Lord and in the future? Or would it be better to look back, to go back, to stay in the past?

To all such of every generation, I call out, “Remember Lot’s wife.” Faith is for the future. Faith builds on the past but never longs to stay there. Faith trusts that God has great things in store for each of us and that Christ truly is the “high priest of good things to come” (Hebrews 9:11).

Keep your eyes on your dreams, however distant and far away. Live to see the miracles of repentance and forgiveness, of trust and divine love that will transform your life today, tomorrow, and forever. That is a New Year’s resolution I ask you to keep."
I have so much to look forward to. Today's miracle is that my future is going to be awesome. God has great things in store for me. And not necessarily only in my distant and far away future. =) Life is good. It's epic.