Cultivating Authenticity - Thoughts As I Begin

So, I've decided the guidepost I'll be working on right now is Guidepost #1: Authenticity. The full title is "Cultivating Authenticity and Letting Go of What People Think." No big deal, right? Ha. This is going to be a challenge.

I am always looking for approval. This guidepost requires letting go of that. My initial response is, "If I let go of that, what do I hold onto??" And I don't know if I have an answer.

I know that I can feel God's love, and even His approval, as I've felt it many times. But is love from God really meant to be enough? He put us on this earth in families, and with friends. We are meant to connect. I can accept that God's love should be the most important. But is His love the ONLY love that matters?

Perhaps what I'm forgetting is that people are capable of loving me, even if I am myself, and even if I don't always agree with them. Even if I hurt them through carelessness or my other imperfections. My heart wonders, is that true?

Anyhow, these are some of my thoughts, and I want to document how I genuinely feel (here I go, cultivating authenticity!).

As I go forward working on this, I think I will concentrate on being true to my beliefs and values. It feels less self-focused than focusing on "being me." Instead I will focus on being true to my values and beliefs.

Part of my plan is to do a few more Honest Opinion posts. As I post on Facebook or elsewhere, I'll make an effort to be honest, not just clever. As I talk to people in person, I will make an effort to follow one of Brene's mantras: "Don't shrink. Don't puff up. Stand your sacred ground."

Friend Zone Opinion

Was going to post it on Facebook, but that doesn't feel right. People will be too sensitive about it.

I feel like sometimes guys "friend-zone" themselves by never making their intentions clear.

I'm all about friendship though, and feel like its essential for a true long-term relationship. But if a guy never asks that friend on a date, or never makes his intentions clear, of course he'll be in the "friend-zone" forever.

It's confusing for me when someone continues to spend time with me, but never asks me on a date. He's either shy/afraid of commitment, or he's not interested in dating me. And if I hear that he's going on dates regularly with various people, but still hasn't asked me, I'm probably going to assume he's not interested in dating me. No matter how many nice things he says.

So what options are there at that point? Either stop hanging out (which is sometimes warranted but sometimes not), or continue to spend time with each other thinking of him as only a friend. There's the friend zone.

(Of course this does not apply to every friend zone situation. But I think its something to think about.)

Honest Opinions #11 and #12

Hugs are one of the best ways of expressing love and care and friendship of which I know. It has a good pure awesome feeling to it. Some of the best huggers I know are Stephen N, from high school, and Darrell, my friend from Utah State. And there have been many other wonderful hugs throughout the years. Most recently, the hug with Ryan after not seeing each other for two years. There's just something about that.

Rain can be fantastic. I'm being rained on right now and I love it. The getting wet, the smell, the melancholy ambience, all of it. It's lovely. =)

Honest Opinion #4-10

Pistachio is one of the very best flavors of ice cream.

Sunglasses should never cost more than about $30.

Painting wood is fun and sometimes therapeutic.

Music is awesome. Sharing a love of music with others is a fantastic feeling. =)

May and June are two of the most beautiful months in Utah County and Cache County. 

My life is awesome.

Gratitude is one of the most important elements to happiness.

Honest Opinion #3: Men's Voices

Given equally talented choirs or ensembles, I would much rather hear men sing than women. Some women's groups are great (The Wailin' Jennys are my favorite) but in almost every case, men are better. Their voices are powerful, heavenly, soothing, invigorating, etc. I just love them. 

Because of how much I love men's voices, it is one of the things I really insist upon in a future husband. I genuinely care more about vocal cords than biceps. 

Men's voices just generally have more power to move me than anything else musically. They're the best. 

"A New Hope"

Several honest opinions today:

Star Wars IV and V should definitely be seen before I, II, and III. 

Peanut butter in chocolate ice cream is a very delicious thing. 

FHE should not involve anyone acting on anger. 

Gandolphos has pretty good sandwiches. 

News of my day: I was happy at work. The 8 hours flew by, which was a nice feeling. 

I left the house during an angry moment in FHE, and was able to calm down and eventually pray for my family. I found peace of my own, and charity, which helped me to not provoke anyone further when I went inside. 

Hoping I can get a lot done at work tomorrow. I hope to finish my journal project soon so I don't feel so bogged down with the past. I'm liking the past less. I like the present and the future more!

Honest Opinion #2: Sushi

Sushi is awesome. Some people worry about raw fish, but I just really don't. I love the taste of the sauces and all the ingredients; the textures of the fish, rice, seaweed, etc.; the large-bite-size of them; the soy sauce and wasabi; the ginger in between. And I think I really love eating things out of the norm, things that I don't have very often. I love the novelty and variety of it. And I love sharing rolls, so that you can keep switching from flavor to flavor. It really is the way to go.

Fortunately for me, some of my favorite people of last year were major sushi fans as well. I had sushi for my birthday with Steffen, I introduced Sarah to sushi for the first time (of many times thereafer), and when I moved away from Logan, Sarah and Steffen and I ate tons of sushi.

Unfortunately, sushi is a little expensive, and not everyone else likes it. But let it be known that I do.

Honest Opinion #1: Immigration

So, back when I dated Jeff, I gained a lot of political opinions. Some I still hold, but not all. I think. Anyway, one of the strongest opinions that stayed, and was later amplified through my own experiences is my opinion on immigration.

I believe that reforms should be made so it is much easier for immigrants to come to the United States to live and work.

I do not believe that crossing the border is a crime in and of itself that deserves the punishment of deportment. I believe that immigrants who commit felonies or serious crimes should be the only ones to be deported.

I do believe that the process to become a citizen should take some effort and time, but not money, and not a ridiculously long amount of time. The right to vote would be granted to those willing to put in the extra effort of becoming a citizen.

I see all these immigrants as people, and believe they should be allowed to seek the opportunity to provide for their families and have a better life than they may have been having in their home countries. And I believe their presence blesses our country, not damages it (with the exception of those who commit serious crimes, and the non-criminals far outnumber the criminals).

I  know I haven't addressed everything about the subject, but these are my current opinions on the matter.

That feels good. =)

Honest Opinions

In the past I have been someone that likes to please others. However, I am now making it a point more than ever to work on my authenticity. I had the thought a few days ago:

Somewhere I want to write down my opinions so I don't change them all when I start dating someone. I need to be honest with myself. So I can then be honest with others. Opinions can change, but only for valid reasons. If I later change opinions, ask myself why I did, honestly.

Then I thought

Hey! I have a blog! And not very many people read it, so its a perfect place to teach myself to be honest with my opinions.

If I go viral, I'm in trouble. But I really don't think that'll happen.

So, I plan to post some short opinions with the label "Honest Opinions" and challenge myself to think about and commit to an opinion enough to say/type it out loud.

My goal is not to persuade, only to express. And mostly for my own sake.

You can comment if you disagree. It'll give me an option to stand strong for my opinion. =)