Excitement in the Gospel, and Joy in Fasting

I'm feeling a lot of love for God and for the Gospel right now. I know He loves me and that I'm important to Him. I also know that my life has so much happiness in store for me, if I'll follow His direction. =) What a happy thing to know!

I have some current favorite scriptures I recently read in Isaiah. I think they're beautiful promises, and ones that I'm looking for right now in my life.

Isaiah 58:6-12
6 - Is not this the fast that I have chosen? to loose the bands of wickedness, to undo the heavy burdens, and to let the oppressed go free, and that ye break every yoke?
8 Then shall thy light break forth as the morning, and thine health shall spring forth speedily: and thy righteousness shall go before thee; the glory of the Lord shall be thy rearward.
 9 Then shalt thou call, and the Lord shall answer; thou shalt cry, and he shall say, Here I am. If thou take away from the midst of thee the yoke, the putting forth of the finger, and speaking vanity;
 10 And if thou draw out thy soul to the hungry, and satisfy the afflicted soul; then shall thy light rise in obscurity, and thy darkness be as the noonday:
 11 And the Lord shall guide thee continually, and satisfy thy soul in drought, and make fat thy bones: and thou shalt be like a watered garden, and like a spring of water, whose waters fail not.
 12 And they that shall be of thee shall build the old waste places: thou shalt raise up the foundations of many generations; and thou shalt be called, The repairer of the breach, The restorer of paths to dwell in.

Right now while I'm in this stage of waiting for further instructions, I very much want these blessings: The Lord answering when I call, and telling me He's there when I cry out; the darkness I feel (uncertainty and fear) to be as the noonday; the Lord's continual guidance; a satisfied soul; to be like a spring of unfailing water. Those are blessings my soul is really really wanting. And fortunately, I'm right in the middle of fasting as I type this. These blessings are coming and will continue to come. =)

What a beautiful thing. I've never felt this good about fasting before.

Holy sacrifice

Doctrine and Covenants 117:13
...and when he falls he shall rise again, for his sacrifice shall be more holy unto me than his increase, saith the Lord.

This was really comforting to me. I still worry about my mission from time to time, and about how I've done in other callings as well. Sometimes I feel like I have no "increase" to show for it. Seems like very few, if any, lives were changed because of my service. I need to remember that the Lord is pleased with all my efforts, whether or not they appear fruitful. They matter to Him. I felt the Spirit confirm that to me, and it felt great.

Willing to Try

I just wrote my best song yet. =) Would you like to read the lyrics?


It’s not the critic who counts,
Not the cold and timid souls.
It’s the ones who know defeat
But still press forward to their goals.
The ones who give their all
In a good and noble cause
Are the ones with no regrets,
Even if there’s no applause.

I must be willing to fail
If I ever want to grow.
I must be willing to guess
If I ever want to know.

Peace comes from the inside,
It comes to those who try,
Who are afraid to sing,
But will not let their music stay inside.
So give it a try,
And fail, win, or die,
Just don’t leave the music inside.

I must be willing to fail
If I ever want to grow.
I must be willing to guess
If I ever want to know.

Facing my fears,
Reaching for gold,
And in the process,
I’m healing my soul.
It’s okay to be me,
And believe in my dreams,
And I’ll work until they’re my own.

I must be willing to fail
If I ever want to grow.
I must be willing to guess
If I ever want to know.

So give it a try,
And fail, win, or die,
Just don’t leave the music inside.

General Conference Quotes (October 2012) - Elder Jeffrey R. Holland

“If ye love me, keep my commandments,” Jesus said. So we have neighbors to bless, children to protect, the poor to lift up, and the truth to defend. We have wrongs to make right, truths to share, and good to do. In short, we have a life of devoted discipleship to give in demonstrating our love of the Lord. We can’t quit and we can’t go back. After an encounter with the living Son of the living God, nothing is ever again to be as it was before. 

I want to do more good than I'm currently doing. I especially want to lift up the poor. I'd like to help with the DI or LDS Employment Center. Maybe I can do that this summer. What are other ways to help the poor? I always have a hard time thinking of things that will help, that I can do (poor as I am).

I also want to bless my neighbors more. I want to defend the truth, but I really don't like contention, so that one is harder for me. I have people to forgive, and people to treat more kindly than I have. I have truths to share and good to do. Hopefully I'll see the opportunities to share and do, when they come. Or maybe I can even seek out opportunities. It feels overwhelming, but I want to help.

General Conference Quotes (October 2012): Elder Walter F. Gonzalez

I've been studying the conference talks from October, looking for the blessings of the Atonement of Jesus Christ, that His apostles and witnesses mentioned. I got overwhelmed when I got to Elder Gonzalez's talk, because there were so many blessings he talked about, that I couldn't keep up! I think this paragraph will blow you away too, if you try to think about and write down every blessing of the Atonement that he talks about or infers.

"By coming unto Christ, every soul can see, feel, and know of a surety that Christ suffered and atoned for our sins that we may have eternal life. If we repent, we will not suffer needlessly. Thanks to Him, wounded souls may be healed and broken hearts may be mended. There is no burden that He cannot ease or remove. He knows about our infirmities and sicknesses. I promise and testify to you that when all doors seem to be closed, when everything else seems to fail, He will not fail you. Christ will help and is the way out, whether the struggle is with an addiction, depression, or something else. He knows 'how to succor his people.' Marriages and families that are struggling for whatever reason—economic challenges, bad media influences, or family dynamics—will feel a calming influence from heaven. It is comforting to 'feel and see' that He rose from the dead 'with healing in his wings,' that because of Him, we will meet and embrace again those beloved ones who have passed away. Verily our conversion unto Him is rewarded with our healing.

I know of a surety that all of this is true. For this reason I join my voice with that of the early inhabitants of ancient America, exclaiming: 'Hosanna! Blessed be the name of the Most High God!' He gives us salvation. I bear witness that Jesus is the Christ, the holy Messiah. He is the Lord of Hosts, our Savior and Redeemer."

What a happy month I've had, as I've focused on remembering Jesus Christ. His desire is to help and heal. What better Friend could anyone ask for?


My other favorite quote from this talk:

"Remembering God helps us to feel and live." 

Authenticity

I just overheard an awesome conversation in the Institute building. I heard at least two guys talking in the hallway, but I couldn't see them. One was talking about his "coming back" and the changes he had been making in his life. He had gotten really excited about changing his life for the better, and things had worked out really well for the first couple weeks as he made good changes, but then in the last few weeks, it was getting a little harder. More hurdles to clear and such. But what I loved about this conversation was hearing how authentic these guys were, especially the one going through the changes. He freely admitted that sometimes he doubts that there's even a God listening when he's praying, or doubts that the things he does right actually help anything. But then he also remembered the evidences he had seen. He didn't get worked up about things as he was saying this, and he wasn't worried about the reactions of the others. And the other guys didn't pounce on him and insist he have faith or anything, they just listened and reacted naturally, reminding him of some examples from scriptures, and talking about some of their own experiences in "coming back" or gaining faith.

I guess it's hard to explain. You'd have to hear it. But what I loved was the authenticity, the real-ness, the open honesty and lack of fear in their communications. (This is apparently a big deal for me, as I examine some recent themes in my life.) They were secure, not fearful or desperate. Their actions and words did not spring out of any sort of anxiety. They were just telling the truth and being real.

I want to be like that, and be around people like that. There is something so amazing about authenticity.

Gold

This song is my obsession of the day. You know one thing I really like about it? It's a love song that is not selfish. Instead of "I can't live without you. Please don't leave me," it's "You're awesome!!!!!!" It's a secure, non-selfish, non-desperate love song. I like that. I like that a lot.

Deeper conversion = deeper joy and peace

"Brothers and sisters, no matter our circumstances, no matter our challenges or trials, there is something in each day to embrace and cherish. There is something in each day that can bring gratitude and joy if only we will see and appreciate it.
Perhaps we should be looking less with our eyes and more with our hearts."
-Dieter F. Uchtdorf, October 2012

Today it wasn't hard to see. I felt the Spirit so strongly in Sunday School as people participated in the lesson that Ryan L. and I were trying to facilitate. There is so much power that comes from testifying of Jesus Christ. There was a very special feeling in the room. And it was easy for me to testify this time around, because the experiences I was testifying of were recent and powerful.

This month has basically been the best month of my post-mission life. And I attribute that to a deeper conversion to Jesus Christ, which came as I sincerely devoted myself to learning of Him and feeling His love, through prayer, study, pondering, and trying to love and serve others. Best decision ever. =)