The cutting of FaceBook and FaceBangs?

I would just like to report that I did not access social media on my phone today! I got on Facebook for exactly ten minutes in a browser on the home computer, which timed me and kicked me out at the right time. 

This is a big deal! There were several times I mindlessly went to the app and almost opened it, to scroll. There were many times I thought of things I wanted to post. It's an emotional challenge for me to not be on Facebook. Part of it is that when I don't have access to it, I feel isolated and like I've lost a friend. Or 800 friends. It's kind of weird. What has happened to my brain? I'm mostly surprised by the emotional response to not having it there for me. 

I have used my time more productively, though. Maybe too productively: I decided to cut my own bangs. Not sure I'll ever do that again. I am definitely a novice, and I'm just hoping I don't look ridiculous!

Affliction, and my phone fast

My scripture of the week is 2 Nephi 2:2.

I've been studying "Affliction" for the last couple weeks, which is how I came across this one. It's a good reminder to me that affliction has a purpose, and that all will be made right. 

On another topic, I decided today to see how much I can avoid using my phone. I have a list of approved apps, which are on my home page, and everything else is off limit for now. The last few weeks and months have been a unique emotional challenge, and I've found myself to be increasingly on my phone, just scrolling. I feel like it would do me good to stop hiding from life, and see how much I can live without my phone, and face things head on. 

Imperfect, but quite awesome!

Do you ever days where you just feel really good and happy about who you are? This doesn't happen to me often. But today I feel loved, valuable, attractive, kind, sharp, and even somewhat fun! And no one told me I was - I just feel it.

I hope I can have days like this more often!

Maybe someone's been praying for me pretty hard. Or maybe it's time for my own prayers to be answered. Either way I'm grateful. =)

Writing

I've decided I need to write more, and I feel too fake on Facebook. It's a scary place sometimes. 

A blog is kind of like a front porch. Other people can hear the conversation, but only if they're walking by. I'll use this, instead of the Facebook megaphone. 

Today was a day in which I hung on by my fingernails to positivity. Some days are like that. A lot of days, recently. It was a constant battle, and I'm not sure who won. 

I've been told by a few trusted sources (Brené Brown, Dieter Uchtdorf, and my friend Steffen) that gratitude is the key to joy. 

My real gratitude today (because fake gratitude doesn't work) is for the U of U students who noticed I was having car troubles, talked to me, called the helpful university car people, and stayed until my car was working. They didn't have to do that, and that meant a lot. 

I'm also grateful to have friends at work. 

Even with my gratitude, I definitely hope for a better day tomorrow!

Pondering - November Week 1

I've enjoyed creating wallpapers for my phone with a different scripture or quote each week. For me, it's far more effective than sticking it to the fridge. =)