Keep Playing

I was reading a talk by James E. Faust, and he shared a story I've heard several times, but I like it more now. It's similar to some of the things we do in music therapy. But also, its just something important to remember in life, especially for me as a perfectionist. Rather than letting fear of an imperfect performance choke out everything, just play, just act, and trust the Master to change my pretty unimpressive (but continuous) performance into a masterpiece. The beauty comes from Him. But I have a part to play.

"...The answer to those questions may best be given by relating the story of a young piano student. His mother, wishing to encourage him, “bought tickets for a performance of the great Polish pianist, Paderewski. The night of the concert arrived and the mother and son found their seats near the front of the concert hall. While the mother visited with friends, the boy slipped quietly away. 

“Suddenly, it was time for the performance to begin and a single spotlight cut through the darkness of the concert hall to illuminate the grand piano on stage. Only then did the audience notice the little boy on the bench, innocently picking out ‘Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star.’ 

“His mother gasped, but before she could move, Paderewski appeared on stage and quickly moved to the keyboard. He whispered to the boy, ‘Don’t quit. Keep playing.’ And then, leaning over, the master reached down with his left hand and began filling in the bass part. Soon his right arm reached around the other side, encircling the child, to add a running obbligato. Together, the old master and the young novice held the crowd mesmerized. 

“In our lives, unpolished though we may be, it is the Master who surrounds us and whispers in our ear, time and time again, ‘Don’t quit. Keep playing.’ And as we do, He augments and supplements until a work of amazing beauty is created. He is right there with all of us, telling us over and over, ‘Keep playing.’”

Whatever It Takes

This quote brings a lot of feelings back to me, and I really want to share it.

More than forty years ago I had a dream, which I am sure was from the Lord. In this dream I was in the presence of my Savior as he stood in mid-air. He spoke no word to me, but my love for him was such that I have not words to explain. I know that no mortal man can love the Lord as I experienced that love for the Savior unless God reveals it unto him. I would have remained in his presence, but there was a power drawing me away from him, and as a result of that dream I had this feeling, that no matter what might be required at my hands, what the gospel might entail unto me, I would do what I should be asked to do, even to the laying down of my life. 

And so when we read in the scriptures what the Savior said to his disciples:
In my Father's house are many mansions: . . . I go to prepare a place for you . . . that where I am, there ye may be also  (John 14:2-3).
I think that is where I want to be. If only I can be with my Savior and have that same sense of love that I had in that dream, it will be the goal of my existence, the desire of my life. 

George F. Richards, Conference Report, October 1946, pp. 137-141

One of my favorite songs while serving a mission was "Whatever It Takes." It's an EFY song that I think I'm going to try to arrange a version that doesn't sound 90's cheesy. I think all that needs to be taken away is the synthesizer. The song itself is beautiful.

I've had experiences like this one George F. Richards talked about, on a smaller scale, and I hope to have many more. The Savior's love amazes me, and it changes me when I feel it. I hope to be more in tune with Him so I notice it more often. I need to invite more light into my life. And if I can just feel His love, I should have the strength to keep going.

"I'll give up everything I've ever had.

Now that my heart's had a taste of what awaits,

I'll do whatever it takes."

General Conference Quotes: President Packer - Counsel to Youth

This quote just really stuck out to me, from President Packer's talk:

Dress modestly; talk reverently; listen to uplifting music. Avoid all immorality and personally degrading practices. Take hold of your life and order yourself to be valiant. Because we depend so much on you, you will be remarkably blessed. You are never far from the sight of your loving Heavenly Father.

Each sentence says so much, to me. If you read it fast, without thinking about it too hard, it doesn't mean much. Slow down, ponder, and let each word sink in and come alive. They're words I'm going to live by.

About Me - My Amateur Attempts at ASL

I'm Aliandria

I love music.

I'm LDS (The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints)

I'm majoring in Music Therapy.

Who knows how much of this I actually did right... But it's a good try, right? I'm taking ASL next semseter, and just trying to get a little more practiced. =)

Chilled Lemonade

This morning was a really cool experience: I was happy! I read about doubt and faith, and was very comforted and reassured. Yesterday I allowed myself to get very stressed and discouraged about dating, but the scriptures and the Lord seemed to be telling me "Things will work out the way they're supposed to, just believe, be valiant, and be calm. And be happy."

And I was! The song that came to me after that was "Lemonade" by Chris Rice. I listened to it several times today, and it was officially today's theme song.

I now dedicate it to a friend, and currently one of my favorite people around. I'm really grateful for his example of happiness, genuine-ness, and kindness. =)

"I live life without pretending.
I'm a sucker for happy endings.
Thanks for the lemonade!"

And to top it all off, it was gently snowing this morning. =) Perfect.

Shepherds

Another post sharing my scripture reading thoughts. Here is a section of scripture that scares me to death:

Thus saith the Lord God unto the shepherds; Woe be to the shepherds of Israel that do feed themselves! should not the shepherds feed the flocks?
3 Ye eat the fat, and ye clothe you with the wool, ye kill them that are fed: but ye feed not the flock.
4 The diseased have ye not strengthened, neither have ye healed that which was sick, neither have ye bound up that which was broken, neither have ye brought again that which was driven away, neither have ye sought that which was lost; but with force and with cruelty have ye ruled them.
5 And they were scattered, because there is no shepherd: and they became meat to all the beasts of the field, when they were scattered.
6 My sheep wandered through all the mountains, and upon every high hill: yea, my flock was scattered upon all the face of the earth, and none did search or seek after them.
(Old Testament | Ezekiel 34:2–6‎)‎

Having been given a portion of stewardship and responsibility for the sisters in my ward, this section terrifies me a little. It's so easy to slip into feeding off of others, instead of helping them. Especially while going to school, and being told to focus more time on myself and my grades and my money and my needs. This section really makes me ask myself, am I strengthening my sisters? Helping them find healing? Binding up that which is broken? Bringing back again those that were driven away? Seeking those which are lost?

I'm not gonna put my answers up here, but let's just say I've been humbled. I haven't been completely failing, but I could do much much better. 

Awesome

I'm excited to get married, I really am. And having kids will be the greatest thing ever. But this picture resonated with me today. Like, it makes me really happy. Should it? I don't know. Hm, oh well. =)

A Pleasant Voice

30 ¶ Also, thou son of man, the children of thy people still are talking against thee by the walls and in the doors of the houses, and speak one to another, every one to his brother, saying, Come, I pray you, and hear what is the word that cometh forth from the Lord.
31 And they come unto thee as the people cometh, and they sit before thee as my people, and they hear thy words, but they will not do them: for with their mouth they shew much love, but their heart goeth after their covetousness.
32 And, lo, thou art unto them as a very lovely song of one that hath a pleasant voice, and can play well on an instrument: for they hear thy words, but they do them not.
(Old Testament | Ezekiel 33:30–32‎)‎

I was surprised to find this in the Old Testament. It really got me thinking. I worry that I frequently do this. I love hearing talks from church leaders. But do I love doing what the church leaders say? And even if I love doing it... do I ever actually do it? Do I treat spiritual instruction like entertainment or a concert?

President Uchtdorf spoke somewhat about this in the April 2011 General Conference, to the men. He said:

The words written in the scriptures and spoken in general conference are for us to "liken them unto [ourselves]," not for reading or hearing only. Too often we attend meetings and nod our heads; we might even smile knowingly and agree. We jot down some action points, and we may say to ourselves, "That is something I will do." But somewhere between the hearing, the writing of a reminder on our smartphone, and the actual doing, our "do it" switch gets rotated to the "later" position. Brethren, let's make sure to set our "do it" switch always to the "now" position!

Then I ask, how can I do it "now" if I'm in a meeting right now? I struggle to make the bridge in my mind, to understand how to do what he's saying I should do. Do I do it first thing when I get home? Or do I wait until it comes up in my life, a time when it would be relevant to do it? Should I have a mini-planning session after each meeting and schedule in on my calendar the things I've been asked to do, so that I remember, when it's a more relevant time, to do it? What about things like "love others"? It's harder to put that into a calendar than "Read more in depth in 2 Nephi 2 tomorrow."

(This is me just thinking out loud, and sharing it with the world. I'm trying to get myself thinking, but I'm also trying to help anyone who reads this to get thinking about it as well.)

Here's my plan. I'm going to take my "Daily Planning Session" each day more seriously. I have it scheduled on my calendar, every night at 10:00. Do I do it? Not very often. So, for things that I can't do immediately after a meeting, I will save them for my daily planning session, right before I go to bed, and review the things I wrote down to do, and put an event or reminder in my calendar, or make a cryptic note on my window. (I write on my windows. I bought some sweet window crayons, and I love them!) And then the next day, I'll review whether I actually did it, and make plans of how to improve.

In addition, if I don't want to follow something I heard in a meeting, I'll pray for the desire to do it. And pray for the strength and faith to do it anyway.

That's my current plan to solve this. Please share any ideas you might have as well, of how to switch your "do it" switch to the "now" position.